(_By a Wild Wheelman. A long way after Rogers_) Mine be a "scorch" without a spill, A loud "bike" bell to please mine ear; A chance to maim, if not to kill, Pedestrian parties pottering near. My holloa, e'er my prey I catch, Shall raise wild terror in each breast; If luck or skill that prey shall snatch From my wild wheel, the shock will test. On to the bike beside my porch I'll spring, like falcon on its prey, And Lucy, on _her_ wheel shall "scorch," And "coast" with me the livelong day. To make old women's marrow freeze Is the best sport the bike has given. To chase them as they puff and wheeze, On rubber tyre--by Jove, 'tis heaven! * * * * * THE BIKER BIKED Henpeck'd he was. He learnt to bike. "Now I can go just where I like," He chuckled to himself. But she Had learnt to bike as well as he, And, what was more, had bought a new Machine to sweetly carry two. Ever together now they go, He sighing, "This is wheel _and_ woe." * * * * * Illustration: "WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS," &c. _He_ (_alarmed by the erratic steering_). "Er--and have you driven much?" _She_ (_quite pleased with herself_). "Oh, no--this is only my second attempt. But then, you see, I have been used to a _bicycle_ for years!" * * * * * Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD _Donald_ (_who has picked up fair cyclist's handkerchief_). "Hi! Woman! Woman!" _Fair Cyclist_ (_indignantly_). "'Woman'! How _dare_ you----" _Donald_ (_out of breath_). "I beg your pardon, sir! I thought you was a woman. I didna see your _trews_." * * * * * Automobile dust-carts, says the _Matin_, are to be used in Paris henceforth. We had thought every motor-car was this. * * * * * Illustration: ENGLISH DICTIONARY ILLUSTRATED.--"Coincidence." The falling or meeting of two or more lines or bodies at the same point. * * * * * REFLECTIONS OF A MOTOR-RACER Two A.M.! Time to get up, if I'm to be ready for the great Paris-Berlin race at 3.30. Feel very cold and sleepy. Pitch dark morning, of course. Moon been down hours. Must get into clothes, I suppose. Oilskins feel very clammy and heavy at this hour in the morning. Button up tunic and tuck trousers into top boots. Put on peaked cap and fasten veil tightly over face, after covering eyes with iron goggles and protecting mouth with respirator. Wind woollen muffler round neck and case hands in thick dogskin gloves with gauntlets. Look like Nansen going to discover North Pole. Or Tweedledum about to join battle with Tweedledee. Effect on the whole unpleasing.