_Miss Dolly_ (_to her fiancé_). "Oh, Jack, this _is_ delightful! If you'll only keep up the pace, I'm sure I shall soon gain confidence!" [_Poor Jack has already run a mile or more, and is very short of condition._ * * * * * Illustration: TU QUOQUE.--_Cyclist_ (_a beginner who has just collided with freshly-painted fence_). "Confound your filthy paint! Now, just look at my coat!" _Painter._ "'Ang yer bloomin' coat! _'Ow about my paint?_" * * * * * Illustration: NOTE TO THE SUPERSTITIOUS It is considered lucky for a black cat to cross your path. * * * * * Illustration: WAITING FOR _A Study of Rural_ "W'y, I remembers the time w'en I'd 'ave stopped _that_ for furious drivin', an' I reckon it's only goin' about a paltry fifteen mile an hour!" * * * Illustration: BIGGER GAME _Police Methods_ "_Ar!_ Now them cyclists is puttin' on a fairish pace! Summat about twenty mile an hour, I s'pose. But 'tain't no business o' mine. _I'm_ 'ere to stop _motor-caws_. Wot ho!" * * * * * LOVE IN A CAR ["I have personal knowledge of marriages resulting from motor-car courtships."--The HON. C. S. ROLLS.--_Daily Express._] When Reginald asked me to drive in his car I knew what it meant for us both, For peril to love-making offers no bar, But fosters the plighting of troth. To the tender occasion I hastened to rise, So bought a new frock on the strength of it, Some china-blue chiffon--to go with my eyes-- And wrapped up my head with a length of it. "Get in," said my lover, "as quick as you can!" He wore a black smear on his face, And held out the hand of a rough artisan To pilot me into my place. Like the engine my frock somehow seemed to mis-fire, For Reginald's manner was querulous, But after some fuss with the near hind-wheel tyre We were off at a pace that was perilous. "There's Brown just behind, on his second-hand brute, He thinks it can move, silly ass!" Said Reggie with venom, "Ha! Ha! let him hoot, I'll give him some trouble to pass." My service thenceforth was by Reggie confined (He showed small compunction in suing it) To turning to see how far Brown was behind, But not to let Brown see me doing it. Brown passed us. We dined off his dust for a league-- It really was very poor fun-- Till, our car showed symptoms of heat and fatigue, Reggie had to admit he was done. To my soft consolation scant heed did he pay, But with taps was continually juggling, And his words, "Will you keep your dress further away?" Put a stop to this incipient smuggling.