"He'd never have passed me alone," Reggie sighed, "The car's extra heavy with you." "Why ask me to come?" I remarked. He replied, "I thought she'd go better with two." When I touched other topics, forbearingly meek, From his goggles the lightnings came scattering, "What chance do you give me of placing this squeak," He hissed, "when you keep up that chattering?" At that, I insisted on being set down And returning to London by train, And I vowed fifty times on my way back to town That I never would see him again. Next week he appeared and implored me to wed, With a fondly adoring humility. "The car stands between us," I rigidly said. "I've sold it!" he cried with agility. His temples were sunken, enfeebled his frame, There was white in the curls on his crest; When he spoke of our ride in a whisper of shame I flew to my home on his breast. By running sedately I'm certain that Love To such passion would never have carried us, Which settles the truth of the legend above-- It was really the motor-car married us. * * * * * Illustration: _Miller_ (_looking after cyclist, who has a slight touch of motor mania_). "Well, to be sure! There do be some main ignorant chaps out o' London. 'E comes 'ere askin' me 'ow many 'orse power the old mill ad got." * * * * * Illustration: _Cyclist_ (_whose tyre has become deflated_). "Have you such a thing as a pump?" _Yokel._ "'Ees, miss, there's one i' the yard." _Cyclist._ "I should be much obliged if you would let me use it." _Yokel._ "That depends 'ow much you want. Watter be main scarce wi' us this year! Oi'll ask feyther." * * * * * Illustration: _Smart Girl_ (_to keen motorist_). "My sister has bought a beautiful motor-car." _Keen Motorist._ "Really! What kind?" _Smart Girl._ "Oh, a lovely sage green, to go with her frocks." * * * * * Illustration: _Mrs. Binks_ (_who has lost control of her machine_). "Oh, oh, Harry! Please get into a bank soon. I must have something soft to fall on!" * * * * * Illustration: _Miss Heavytopp._ "I'm afraid I'm giving you a lot of bother, but then, it's only my _first_ lesson!" _Exhausted Instructor_ (_sotto voce_). "I only hope it won't be my _last_!" * * * * * Illustration: SORROWS OF A "CHAUFFEUR" _Ancient Dame._ "What d'ye say? They call he a 'shuvver,' do they? I see. They put he to walk behind and shove 'em up the hills, I reckon." * * * * *