But Mabel has a thrifty mind. To supplement her charms, The frills that once she wore behind She fastens on her arms. Her sleeves are made in open bags Like trousers in the Navy; No more she sweeps the streets, but drags Her sleeve across the gravy. * * * * * LENTEN NON LENT-’EM.--_Fräulein von Under Standt._ “How _very_ plainly zat dear Lady Churchleigh is dressed!” _Friend._ “Yes, indeed. But, you must remember, it is Lent.” _Fräulein._ “Ach no! You do not mean to tell me really and truly zat she _borrows_ her dresses?” * * * * * [Illustration: “Hang it, you’ve got an umbrella of your own. Why the deuce don’t you stick it up?” “Not if I know it, old man! This umbrella was done up last May by Monty Brabazon, and has never been opened since!” “Monty Brabazon? Who’s he?” “Not know Lord Montague Brabazon? Why, he’s about the only man in London _who really knows how to do up an umbrella_!”] * * * * * [Illustration: _Hostess._ “You’re _not_ going _already_, Professor, surely!” _The Professor._ “I’m sorry to, my dear lady, but I have been working so late all the week I feel I must have my beauty sleep to-night.” _Hostess._ “Then I mustn’t keep you. I’m sure you _need_ it, poor thing!”] * * * * * [Illustration: _She._ “I love this excessively hot weather! Don’t you, Mr. Boreham?” _He._ “No! I can’t stand it. I shall go away if it continues!” _She._ “I do hope it will!”] * * * * * [Illustration: A FRIENDLY REBUKE “Thanks for a very pleasant evening, and good-night, Herr Professor. I’m sorry to have to leave you so early!” “Ach! Fräulein, when you come to see us, your stays are always so short!”] * * * * * [Illustration: AT A GARDEN PARTY _Lady Vere de Vere_ (_to distinguished foreigner_). “You _must_ excuse me. I know it’s awfully silly of me. I know your name so well, but I can’t remember your face!”] * * * * * [Illustration: _She._ “I haven’t seen any of your people here to-night, Mr. Carter. I hope they are well?” _Mr. Carter._ “No. They’ve all got colds. I was the only one of the family able to come.” _She._ “Oh! I _am_ sorry.”] * * * * * SERVICE AND SOCIETY NEWS (_According to Mr. Sheldon_) [“The Rev. Charles M. Sheldon has just aroused the wrath of the ladies of Topeka by his views on the servant-girl problem. He advocated from the pulpit ‘the hired girl’ should be treated as one of the family and cherished, not chided.”--_Pall Mall Gazette._]