_Nervous Person_ (_speaking at last to his Neighbour_). “Do you know who that remarkably _ugly_ person is just opposite--talking to the black-haired lady, you know--um--eh?” _Neighbour._ “That, sir, is my _brother_!” _Nervous Person._ “Yes? I--I--I beg your pardon--I--I--Stupid of me not to have seen the _family likeness_--a--a--a----” [_Collapses and disappears._] * * * * * [Illustration: XIV _The Professor._ “How singularly you and your brother resemble each other, Miss Angelina!” _Miss Angelina._ “Is that a compliment to my brother, or a compliment to me?” _The Professor._ “Oh, a compliment to neither, I assure you!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XV _He._ “What a pretty fan!” _She._ “Yes; I had it given to me when I first came out!” _He._ “Really! It _has_ worn well!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XVI _Servant._ “Lady Glitter’s carriage!” _Son of the House_ (_tenderly, as he hands her Ladyship out_). “Ah! I’ve been waiting for this moment all the evening!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XVII _Caller._ “Only fancy, Mrs. Dowderley, I was very nearly calling on your neighbour, Lady Masham, whose day at home it is _too_! when I suddenly remembered I wasn’t dressed for paying calls!”] * * * * * XVIII _Hostess._ “What, leaving already, Mr. Mivers! I’ve scarcely seen anything of you the whole evening!” _Mr. Mivers_ (_who goes in for the Courteous Manners of the Olden Time_). “That, madam, is entirely my fault!” [_Exit gracefully, but remembers as he goes downstairs that he meant to say_ “misfortune,” _not “fault.”_ * * * * * THINGS ONE MIGHT HAVE EXPRESSED OTHERWISE I _Visitor_ (_who has accepted an invitation to a local concert_). “Is it evening dress?” _Hostess._ “Oh, no; just as you are dressed now--or worse, if you have it.” * * * * * II _Lady Guest_ (_to Host, who hates getting up early_). “I’m so awfully sorry to have dragged you up at this unearthly hour, but I had to catch the 8.30 train.” _Host._ “Not at all. I’m only too glad to be able to see you off!” * * * * * [Illustration: III _Host._ “Take a little whiskey before you go, Jones?” _Jones_ (_after helping himself_). “Thanks! May I pour you out some?” _Host._ “Please--not too much--just about half what you’ve given yourself!”] * * * * * [Illustration: IV _Gushing Lady._ “Oh but, Mr. Jones, I should love to be beautiful--even if for only half-an-hour!” _Jones._ “Yes; but you wouldn’t like the coming back again!”] * * * * * [Illustration: V _He._ “I suppose, now that the London Season is coming to an end, that you’ve been very gay?”