“Oh, how d’ye do, Sir Bruin? And so you’re leaving England for good, and we shall never see you again!” “Nothing of the kind! Who says so?” “Oh, I saw it in one of the papers. But the papers don’t always tell the truth, I’m sorry to say!” * * * * * III _Enthusiastic Lady Visitor_ (_at winter health resort_). “What a delightful place this is, Professor. And the baths, how perfect! I could bathe all day--couldn’t you?” _The Professor._ “Well, you see, I’m a _resident_, and that makes a difference!” _Lady Visitor._ “Ah! to be sure. I suppose you never even _think_ of taking a bath!” * * * * * IV _Love-lorn Middy_ (_about to join his ship_). “I’ve come to say _good-bye_, Amy!” _Cousin Amy._ “Good-bye, Johnny. When we see you next, I hope you’ll be an _Admiral_!” * * * * * V “I was _so_ sorry not to be at home when you called, Mr. Binks!” “Oh, pray don’t mention it! It didn’t matter in the least, I can _assure_ you!” * * * * * VI _Hostess._ “What, must you go already, Professor?” _The Professor._ “My dear madam, there is a limit even to _my_ capacity of inflicting myself on my friends!” _Hostess._ “Oh no--not at all--I _assure_ you!” * * * * * [Illustration: VII _Miss Bugge._ “Oh, but mine is such a horrid name!” _Young Brown._ “Ah--a--um--I’m afraid it’s too late to alter it now!”] * * * * * [Illustration: VIII _Deaf Old Gentleman._ “The conversation seems very amusing, my dear. What is it all about? _Hostess_ (_fortissimo_). “When they say anything worth repeating, grandpapa, _I’ll tell you_!”] * * * * * [Illustration: IX _She._ “No! I can’t give you another dance. But I’ll introduce you to the prettiest girl in the room!” _He._ “But I don’t _want_ to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. I want to dance with _you_!”] * * * * * [Illustration: X _He._ “Everybody will be leaving Town now that Parliament is dissolved.” _She._ “Yes. Indeed I think all the _nice people have left already_!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XI _Jones_ (_under the impression that he is making himself agreeable_). “I don’t care a bit for a pretty woman, myself! They have no conversation. _I_ like a _plain_ woman, who has _plenty to say for herself_!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XII (_Dinner has just been announced_) _Hester and Billy_ (_sadly_). “Good night, sir. _We’ve_ got to go _to bed._” _Distinguished Professor_ (_who is taking down the Hostess_). “Ah, my dears, that’s where we’re _all_ wishing we were!”] * * * * * [Illustration: XIII