* * * * * [Illustration: _Irate Non-sporting Farmer._ "Hi! you there! What the Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!" _'Arry._ "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? _Wheat!_ Why, it's only bloomin' _mud!_"] * * * * * "FOOT AND MOUTH" TROUBLE A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon had to be summoned to its assistance. This recalls the ancient Irish legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot into it. But that, of course, was a bull. * * * * * DECIDEDLY NOT _Nervous Visitor_ (_pulling up at stiff-looking fence_). "Are you going to take this hedge, sir?" _Sportsman._ "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned." * * * * * UNGRATEFUL _The Pride of the Hunt_ (_to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate_). "Mr. Smith, if you really _can't_ open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the way, and allow me to _jump_ it!" * * * * * [Illustration: APT _Brown_ (_helping lady out of water_). "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A CHECK _M.F.H._ (_riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he has seen the lost fox_). "How long have you been working here, master?" _Old Rustic_ (_not seeing the point_). "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" _Whip._ "_Wisdom!_ Get away there!! _Wisdom!! Wisdom!!!_ Ugh!--you always were the biggest fool in the pack!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY _Mrs. Brown_ (_being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has also succeeded in catching her horse_). "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you _so_ much!" _Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain._ "Not at all--don't mention it." (_Wishing to add something excessively polite and appropriate._) "Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again for you."] * * * * * REASSURING _Criticising friend_ (_to nervous man on new horse_). "Oh! now I recollect that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a collar-bone for each of them." * * * * * [Illustration: "THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!" _First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,_ "When other tips, and t'other parts, Then he remembers _me!_"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Giles_ (_indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting his turn_). "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it back'ards!"]