* * * * * [Illustration: WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS _Dismounted Huntsman_ (_to his mount_). "Whoa, you old brute! To think I went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old 'idebound 'umbug!"] * * * * * 'INTS ON 'UNTING, BY 'ARRY [Illustration: (1) ON CLOTHES.--"Why not employ local talent? Saves half the money, and no one can tell the difference."] [Illustration: (2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse's tail, just try to pull it out!] [Illustration: (3) Don't buy a horse because he is described as being "Well known with the ---- Hounds." It might be true.] [Illustration: (4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand, just run him up against some one.] [Illustration: (5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don't fall into the middle of the pack!] [Illustration: (6) Sit well back at your fences!] [Illustration: (7) Look before you leap.] [Illustration: (8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to catch it for you.] * * * * * EXCUSABLE _M.F.H._ (_justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of seed-field_). "Blank it all, Rogerson, what's the good o' me trying to keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across 'em?" _Hard-Riding Farmer._ "It's all right. They're my own! Ar've just come ower my neighbour's wheat, and ar couldn't for vary sham(e) miss my own seeads!" * * * * * ANXIOUS TO SELL _Dealer_ (_to Hunting Man, whose mount has NOT answered expectations_). "How much do you want for that nag o' yours, sir?" _Hunting Man._ "Well, I'll take a hundred guineas." _Dealer._ "Make it _shillings_." _H. M._ (_delighted_). "He's yours!" * * * * * [Illustration: NOT A LADIES' DAY _Miss Scramble._ "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I shall do."] * * * * * CASUAL _Owner of let-out hunters_ (_to customer just returned from day's sport_). "Are you aware, sir, that ain't my 'orse?" _Sportsman._ "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I _did_ collar the wrong gee during that scrimmage at the brook!" * * * * * AT OUR OPENING MEET _Stranger from over the water._ "I guess you've a mighty smart bunch of dogs there, m'lord!" _Noble but crusty M.F.H._ "Then you guess wrong, sir. _This is a pack of hounds!_" * * * * * MUST BE HUNGRY "Wish you'd feed your horse before he comes out." "Eh--why--hang it!--what do you mean?" "He's always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there's some chance of getting at a little corn!" * * * * * [Illustration: THE RETORT COURTEOUS (_A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season_) _Major Topknot, M.H._ (_to butcher's boy_). "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my hare?" _Butcher's Boy._ "Ga-a-rn! 'Ave you seen my whiskers?"]