To others--"_service_" being paid-- _Buona mano_, _pourboire_, _trinkgeld;_ They fancy Englishmen are made Of money, made of (so they think) _geld_. The _garçon_, ready with each dish, His brisk "_Voilà, monsieur_" replying To anything that one may wish; His claim admits of no denying. The _portier_, who never rests, Who speaks six languages together To clamorous, inquiring guests, On letters, luggage, trains, boats, weather. The _femme de chambre_, who fills my _bain;_ The _ouvreuse_, where I see the _acteur_. A cigarette to _chef de train_, A franc to energetic _facteur_. I give each _cocher_ what is right; I know, without profound researches, What I must pay for each new sight-- Cathedrals, castles, convents, churches. Or climbing up to see a view, From _campanile_, roof, or steeple, Those verbal tips I had from you Save money tips to other people. Save all those florins, marks or francs-- Or _pfennige_, _sous_, _kreutzer_, is it?-- The change they give me at the banks, According to the towns I visit. I seem to owe you these, and yet Will money do? My feeling's deeper. I'll owe you an eternal debt-- A debt of gratitude, that's cheaper. [Illustration: _The Cleaner_ (_showing tourists round the church_). "Voilà le Maître-autel, m'sieu' et 'dame." _British Matron_. "Oh, to be sure, yes. You remember, George, we had French beans, _à la Maître Autel_ for dinner yesterday!"] BREAKING THE BANK AT MONTE CARLO (_A Note from One who has all but done it_) DEAR MR. PUNCH.--Now that so many of my countrymen (the word includes both sexes) patronise Monte Carlo, it is well that they should be provided with an infallible system. Some people think that a lucky pig charm or a piece of Newgate rope produces luck. But this impression is caused by a feeling of superstition--neither more nor less. What one wants in front of the table is a really scientific mathematical system. This I am prepared to give. Take a Napoleon as a unit, making up your mind to lose up to a certain sum, and do not exceed that sum. Now back the colour twenty consecutive times. Don't double, but simply keep to the unit. When you have lost to the full extent of your limit, double your stake. Keep to this sum for another twenty turns. By this time it is a mathematical certainty that you must either have won--or lost. Of course, if you have won you will be pleased. If you have lost, keep up your heart and double your stakes again. This time you will be backing the colour with a stake four times as large as your original fancy. Again go for twenty turns, and see what comes of it. Of course, if you still lose it will be unfortunate, but you cannot have everything. And with this truism, I sign myself, ONE WHO WISHES TO BENEFIT MANKIND. [Illustration: FOREIGNERS IN FRANCE _First Foreigner_. "This is what they call _à la Russe_, isn't it!"