_Guide._ Excuse me, sir; Santa Maria Novellissima. There was an old church once, but the present one is quite new. It is made of steel, with thin stone stuck all over it, to look like a stone building, just like the Tower Bridge in London. You know, sir, we get many artistic ideas from England. It is a very clever imitation, and much admired. _Tourist._ No doubt. I'll ask you one final question. Which is the oldest building now standing in Florence? _Guide._ Well, really, sir, I'm not quite sure. I should think the gasometer on the left bank of the Arno is about as old as anything. The Stazione Centrale was very ancient, but of course the new Railway Station---- _Tourist._ That'll do. I arrived at that station this morning. You take me back there, and I'll leave this unhappy place for ever. I'm off to Turin. It may be a rectangular, monotonous city, but it's now the oldest town in Italy. * * * AT LUCERNE.--_Member of Parliament_ (_ending a long explanation of a pet measure_). And so you see, my dear, by the law of supply and demand, Capital _must_ be benefited without injury to Labour. I hope I make myself clearly understood? Perhaps you might give me your view of the subject. The suggestions of fresh minds are frequently very valuable. I have noticed that you have been pondering over something for the last half-hour. You were thinking, perhaps, that greater liberty might be given to the framers of the initial contract? _Mrs. M.P._ No, dear. The fact is, I have been considering all the morning which of my dresses I ought to wear to-night at the _table d'hôte!_ [Illustration: OUR COUNTRYMEN ABROAD Sketch of a bench on the Boulevards, occupied by four English people who only know each other by sight. [Illustration: AFTER THE FÈTES! _First Citizen._ "Say then! was it not a fine change to cry 'Vive l'Empereur' for nearly a whole week, instead of 'Vive la République'?" _Second Citizen._ "Ah, my brave, it was truly magnificent! And so new! I'm horribly bored with always calling out 'Vive la République'!" [_They smoke and consider._] OBJECTIONS TO PLACES (_By a Stay-at-Home Cynic_) _Antwerp._--Too many pictures. _Boulogne._--Too many English. _Calais._--Barred by the Channel passage. _Dieppe._--Journey there literally a "toss-up." _Ems._--In the sere and yellow leaf. _Florence._--Paintings anticipated by photography. _Geneva._--Can get watches nowadays elsewhere. _Heidelberg._--Castle too "personally conducted." _Interlaken._--Jungfrau monotonous. _Jerusalem._--Looks better on paper. _Kissingen._--Fallen off since Sheridan's days. _Lucerne._--Lion in stone too irritating. _Madrid._--Bull-fights can be supplied by biograph. _Naples._--No longer an _ante mortem_ necessity. _Paris._--Used up. _Quebec._--After the Jubilee, too Colonial. _Rouen._--Preliminary journey impossible. _Saumur._--Not to be tempted by the vintage. _Turin._--Out of date more than a quarter of a century.