"The Nymph _Egeria_," A. intervenes, with superiority. "Vell, I say de Naimp _Egeea_. He say he haf seen her, dat she haf appareeted to him, and so dey get deir religion." A. laughs dubiously. "Yes," concludes the guide, "dat iss a fonny story." _By the Circus of Maxentius_. "Diss is de Circus of Massenzio. He build 'im ven his son Romulus die. No, diss is not de same Romulus who foundated Rome, but anosser one, a leetle boy, de son of de Emperor Massenzio. He die ven he vos a leetle boy. In dem days it not permitted to make sacrifice of men, so dey build a race-course instead: it is de same ting, for some of de charioteers alvays get dem killed, and Massenzio tink dey go play wiz Romulus." _In the Catacombs._ "Ven de _martiri_ condemnated to dess and dey kill dem, dey safe some drops blood in a leetle bottle and dey put dem bottles in de valls. Dere iss a bit, you see. San Sebastiano 'e vos condemnated to de arrows--dey shotted 'im--and afterward dey smash his head on a column. Dere is de column." "What was that you were telling us about Caracalla just now?" "Caracalla he no like 'is brozzer Geta--so he kill 'im. Den he make 'im a god and tell peoples to vorship him, and 'e say 'I did not like my brozzer ven he vos a man, but I like him very moch ven he is a god.' Dat is anosser funny story." * * * AT BOULOGNE.--_Mrs. Sweetly_ (_on her honeymoon_). "Isn't it funny, Archibald, to see so many foreigners about? And all talking French!" [Illustration: FROM "LA CÔTE D'AZUR" _Fritz the Waiter_ (_to Lady and Gent just arrived, and a little at sea as to the sort of a kind of a place it is_). "Yes, madame, dere is such a lot of _Swift_ people here. More dan half de peoples what is here is _Swift_."] [Illustration: O FLATTERY, THY NAME IS FRENCHWOMAN! John Henry Jones thinks he will do a little bit of marketing for himself, and asks the price of tomatoes. With a killing glance and a winning smile, the vendor replies that for him they will be a franc apiece, but that he mustn't mention it. The modest J. H. J. blushes, and buys, in spite of some misgiving that for anybody else they would be about sixpence a dozen.] [Illustration: OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD SCENE--_A Table d'hôte_ _Aristocratic English Lady_ (_full of diplomatic relations_). "A--can you tell me if there is a resident British Minister here?" _Scotch Tourist._ "Well, I'm not just quite sure--but I'm told there's an excellent Presbyterian service every Sunday!"] WONDERS OF THE WORLD ABROAD Wonder if there be an inn upon the Continent where you are furnished gratis with a cake of soap and bed candle. Wonder how many able-bodied English waiters it would take to do the daily work of half a dozen French ones. Wonder why it is that Great (and Little) Britons are so constantly heard grumbling at the half a score of dishes in a foreign bill of fare, while at home they have so frequently to feed upon cold mutton.