["The sailor is allowed 60 ounces of moist food per day, and this is of the wrong kind for a fighting man. This he eats at five different meals. He has about three times as much bread as he should have, and about half as much meat. It is a splendid diet to induce obesity, gout, and laziness."--_Dr. Yorke Davies in the "Daily Telegraph."_] ] * * * * * MRS. RAMSBOTHAM tells us her youngest nephew has just become a midshipman in the Royal Navy, and she has given him one of the best aromatic telescopes that could be bought for money. * * * * * THE BEST UPHOLDER OF THE UNION JACK.--The Union Jack Tar. * * * * * NAVAL PROMOTION.--"Chaplain: Rev. M. Longridge, B.A., to _Glory_."--_Daily Mail._ * * * * * FRESH MEAT FOR THE NAVY.--The chops of the Channel. * * * * * [Illustration: "We are unanimously of opinion that the British fleet should be put as soon as possible on a firmer and more stable basis!!!"] * * * * * AT THE SERVICE OF THE SERVICE (_A Forecast of the Future_) SCENE.--_A lecture-chamber at a military college._ Lecturer _discovered behind a table_. Students _taking notes_. _Lecturer._ I have now shown you a colonel and a major. I will disappear for a few seconds, and then appear as a captain. [_Dives under his table._ _First Student._ What's the lecture about? I got in too late for the beginning. _Second Student._ It's on "the Militia." _Lecturer_ (_emerging from his table in fresh regimentals._) Now, my men, you must regard me as your friend as well as your commander. I am responsible for your well-being. (_Applause, amidst which the_ Lecturer _resumes his ordinary clothing._) And now, gentlemen, it is unnecessary to give you a sketch of a subaltern, as that genus of the army officer must be known to all of you. And before I go I would be glad to answer any questions. _First Student._ Thank you, sir. May I ask why you have been giving this interesting entertainment? _Lecturer._ Certainly. To show you, gentlemen, your duty in the Militia. You will be expected to play many parts. _First Student._ But surely not simultaneously? _Lecturer._ Why, certainly. The old constitutional force is so undermanned in the commissioned ranks, that if the youngest subaltern of a battalion cannot do equally well for colonel, major and captain, the chances are that--well, I would be sorry to answer for the consequences. And now, gentlemen, we will consider how a ballot for soldiering can be established without seriously affecting the cherished rights of the civilian. [_Scene closes upon an unsuccessful attempt to solve the problem._ [Illustration] * * * * *