Much talked about, but very seldom seen!] * * * * * "A railway from Joppa to Jerusalem" sounds like a Scriptural line. In future, "going to Jericho" will not imply social banishment, as the party sent thither will be able to take a return-ticket. * * * * * SO NICE AND SYMPATHETIC.--A gentleman, whose one glass eye had served him for years, had the misfortune to drop it. It smashed to atoms. This happened when he was far away in the country. He inquired of a friend where was the nearest place for him to go and get refitted. "Why don't you call upon the girl you were flirting with all last night?" his friend inquired. "She has a first-class reputation for making eyes." * * * * * BALLOONERY.--"We went spinning through the air!" said an enthusiastic aeronaut, describing his recent trial trip. "Indeed!" observed his companion, meditatively. "Judging by your description it sounds as if you had been in an 'heir-loom' instead of an 'air-ship.'" * * * * * AT BRUSSELS.--_Mrs. Trickleby_ (_pointing to an announcement in grocer's window, and spelling it out_). _Jambon d'Yorck._ What's that mean, Mr. T.? _Mr. T_. (_who is by way of being a linguist_). Why, good Yorkshire preserves, of course. What did you suppose it was--Dundee marmalade? * * * * * [Illustration: "CAUTION! THIS HILL IS DANGEROUS!"] * * * * * TO ABSENT FRIENDS. (_By a Fox without a Tail._) Dear Brown and Jones and Robinson and many thousands more, Now spending dismal holidays on some dank sea-girt shore, You, who affect to pity those compelled in town to stay, Should rather envy us, because we cannot get away. While you are hiring tiny rooms at many pounds a week, And huddle there and watch parades that run with rain, and reek, Contrast my cheerful aspect with your discontented looks, As here I stay at ease among my pictures and my books. Here in the trains the traveller can now find ample space, Enjoying elbow-room without a struggle for a place: The choicest dishes are not "off" at half-past one to lunch, And no one spoils our appetite with--"After you with _Punch_!" The dainty shops of Regent Street teem with their treasures still, The Park with all its beauties we can now enjoy at will; No longer do the jostling crowds provoke an angry frown, But leisurely we relish the amenities of town. Thus basking in the keen delights that empty London owns (Though from my heart I pity you--Brown, Robinson and Jones), So long as you may care to stay, and business is slack, I cannot honestly declare I long to see you back. * * * * * [Illustration: TRIPPERS _Tommy_ (_his first visit_). "Will it be like this all d-d-d-day daddy?"] * * * * *