It must not, therefore, be thought that the present volume is in anywise distinguished from the others of the series to which it belongs in the appropriateness of its contents for the dinner party. No more than any of its companions is it designed to that end; but as it is concerned almost exclusively with the humours of dining, with stories of diners, it will be admitted that its title is not without justification. Private dinner parties, public banquets, the solitary dinner at the restaurant, the giving and accepting of invitations, these and many other phases of dining come within its scope, and if it be noticed that a considerable amount of its humour has something of the fragrance of good old port--to say nothing of the aroma of wines that are bad!--it can only be retorted that MR. PUNCH'S duty has ever been to mirror the manners of the changing time, and in his early days the wine flowed more freely than it does to-day. For our personal taste we could have wished less of this humour of the bottle, but throughout this library an effort has been made to maintain in some degree a historical perspective, so that, in addition to the prime purpose of entertainment, each of these books in MR. PUNCH'S LIBRARY might be a faithful picture of the manners of the Victorian period in which most of his life has been passed. If to-day these manners seem to us just a trifle coarser than we esteem the social habits of our own day, surely that is a comforting reflection and one not lightly to be lost! [Illustration] * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S AFTER-DINNER STORIES [Illustration] _Mrs. Jones._ And pray, Mr. Jones, what is the matter now? _Jones._ I was only wondering, my dear, where you might have bought this fish. _Mrs. Jones._ At the fishmonger's. Where do you suppose I bought it? _Jones._ Well, I thought that, _perhaps_, there might have been a remnant sale at the Royal Aquarium! * * * * * EXCUSE FOR DRINKING BEFORE DINNER.--To whet the appetite. * * * * * [Illustration: _Voice from above._ "What are you doing down there, Parkins?" _Parkins._ "I'm jush--puttin' away the port, shir!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Commissionaire._ "Would you like a four-wheeler or a 'ansom sir?" _Convivial Party_ (_indistinctly_). "Ver' mush oblige--but--reely don't think I _could_ take 'ny more!"] * * * * * RICE AND PRUNES Rice and prunes a household journal Called the chief of household boons; Hence my mother cooks diurnal Rice and prunes. Therefore on successive noons, Sombre fruit and snowy kernel Woo reluctant forks and spoons. As the ear, when leaves are vernal, Wearies of the blackbird's tunes, So we weary of eternal Rice and prunes. * * * * * NEVER SPEAK IN A HURRY