[Illustration: "ANIMAL SPIRITS" The Great Cricket Match. "England _v._ Australia." Umpires, the two wombats.] * * * * * COCKNEY MOTTO FOR A FEEBLE CRICKETER.--"Take 'Art of GRACE!" * * * * * GOOD NEWS AFTER THE LAST CRICKET MATCH.--Rest for the wicket. * * * * * CRICKET HITS _By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat._ [Illustration: STUMPED] [Illustration: CAUGHT OUT] [Illustration: RUN OUT] [Illustration: DRAWING THE STUMPS] * * * * * AT THE GENTLEMEN V. PLAYERS RETURN MATCH.--_New Yorker._ Say, can I get a square meal here? _Waiter_ (_with dignity_). This, sir, is the Oval 2_s._ 6_d._ Luncheon. * * * * * DRAMATIC DUET _Sharp Person_ (_asks, singing_). In what hand should a cricketer write? _Dull Person_ (_answers, also singing_). I don't quite understand. _Sharp Person_ (_annoyed_). Shall I repeat-- _Sharper Person_ (_briskly sings_). Oh no! I see't, He'll write in a _bowl'd round hand_. [_Exit_ SHARP PERSON L.H. SHARPER PERSON _dances off_ R.H. DULL PERSON _is left thinking_. * * * * * A HUNDRED UP _Tommy_ (_reading daily paper_). What's a centenarian, Bill? _Bill_ (_promptly_). A cricketer, of course, who makes a hundred runs. _Tommy._ You don't say so. _I_ thought he was called a centurion. * * * * * A well-known cricketer was expecting an interesting family event. Suddenly the nurse rushed into his smoking-room. "Well, nurse?" he said, "what is it?" "Two fine byes," announced the nurse. * * * * * CRICKET HITS _By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat._ [Illustration: PITCHING THE WICKET] [Illustration: A MAIDEN OVER----?] [Illustration: A DRIVE TO THE PAVILION] [Illustration: HOLDING A CATCH] * * * * * TO BE SEEN FOR NOTHING.--The play of the features. * * * * * MOTTO FOR BRITISH CRICKETERS.--Strike only at the ball! * * * * * A FEW QUESTIONS ON CRICKET _Q._ What is "fielding"? _A._ The author of _Tom Jones_. _Q._ How do you stop a ball? _A._ By putting out the lights. _Q._ When does a party change sides? _A._ When he's in bed, and got the fidgets. _Q._ What do you call "a long slip"? _A._ A hundred songs for a halfpenny. _Q._ How much is game? _A._ It depends whether it's in season. * * * * * FANCY our dear old lady's horror when she heard that last week, at Lord's, a cricketer had bowled a maiden over. "Poor thing!" exclaimed Mrs. R., "I hope she was picked up again quickly, and wasn't much hurt." * * * * * PHILOSOPHY AT THE POPPING CREASE