"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure, That it _must_ be the slowest should see at a glance, For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure, _Must_ be in its nature a mere game of chance, "'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;-- 'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings. Half depends on the "pitch"--of the wickets, you know, The rest on the "toss"--for first innings. * * * * * [Illustration: _Bowler_ (_his sixth appeal for an obvious leg-before_). "'Ow's that?" _Umpire_ (_drawing out watch_). "Well, he's been in ten minutes now--Hout!"] * * * * * [Illustration: OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB.--Tom Huggins, of the local fire brigade, umpires for the visiting team in an emergency. Laden, as is usual, with their wealth, watches, etc., he hears the fire-bell, and obeys duty's call without loss of time!] * * * * * [Illustration: THE LIMITATIONS OF FAME.--"And what are you?" "Oh, I'm the wicket-keeper." "Then why aren't you busy taking the gate-money?"] * * * * * CON. FOR A CRICKETER Miss Nelly sits cool in the cricketer's booth And watches the game, about which, in good sooth, Her curious interest ne'er ceases. She now wants to know of the flannel-clad youth, However the wickets can well be kept smooth, When she hears they are always _in creases_! * * * * * MILTONIC MEDITATION (_by a looker-on at lawn-tennis_).--"They also _serve_ who only stand and wait." * * * * * APPROPRIATE TO THE SEASON.--_Q._ What is double as good a game as Fives?--_A._ (_evident_) Tennis. * * * * * GOING TO THE DEUCE.--Getting thirty to forty at lawn-tennis. * * * * * SUGGESTION TO PROVINCIAL LAWN-TENNIS CLUB.--Why not give lawn-tennis balls in costume during the winter? * * * * * MOST APPROPRIATE ATTIRE.--A "grass-lawn" tennis costume. * * * * * THE GAME FOR RACKETY BISHOPS.--Lawn-tennis. * * * * * [Illustration: _Miss Delamode_ (_of Belgravia_). "Well, dear, I must be off. Don't you love Lord's?" _Miss Dowdesley_ (_of Far-West Kensingtonia_). "I'm sure I should, only----" (_immersed in her own dreams_)--"We don't know any!"] * * * * * OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB I At our opening match, Spinner, the demon left-hander, was again in great form. His masterly skill in placing the field, and his sound knowledge of the game, really won the match for us. [Illustration: "About three feet nine to the right, please, Colonel--that is to say, your right. That's it. Back a little, just where the buff Orpington's feeding. Thanks."] II