4. It is a great point to give your partner advice in a loud and authoritative tone--it doesn't matter in the least whether it is feasible or not. Something like the following, said very quickly, always sounds well:--"Hit one red, take two off him and make your hoop; send two red towards me and get into position." In a game of croquet there is always one on each side who gives advice, and one who receives (and disregards) it. All the lookers-on naturally regard the former as the finer player, therefore begin giving advice on your partner's first stroke. If she happens to be a good player this may annoy her, but that is no consequence. 5. Remember that "a mallet's length from the boundary" varies considerably. If you play next, it means three yards, if your opponent does so, it means three inches. So, too, with the other "rules," which no one really knows. When in an awkward position, the best course is to invent a new rule on the spur of the moment, and to allege (which will be perfectly true) that "it has just been introduced." [Illustration: GENUINE ENTHUSIASM] 6. Much may be done by giving your ball a gentle kick when the backs of the other players happen to be turned. Many an apparently hopeless game has been saved by this method. Leave your conscience behind when you come to a croquet-party. [Illustration] * * * * * SWEET NAME FOR YOUNG LADIES PLAYING CROQUET.--Hammerdryads. [Illustration] * * * * * THE POET OF CROQUET.--Mallet. * * * * * [Illustration: LAWN-TENNIS COSTUME (_Designed by Mr. Punch._)] * * * * * [Illustration: "NOUVELLES COUCHES SOCIALES!" "I say, uncle, that was young Baldock that went by,--Wilmington Baldock, you know----!" "Who the dickens is _he_?" "What! haven't you heard of him? Hang it! he's making himself a very first-rate position in the _lawn-tennis_ world, I can _tell_ you!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "SPORTING."--_Cabby_ (_on the rank at the top of our square_.) "Beg your pardon, miss!--'takin' the liberty--but--'ow does the game stand now, miss? 'Cause me and this 'ere 'ansom's gota dollar on it!"] * * * * * [Illustration: HONI SOIT QUI MAL Y PENSE _Auntie._ "Archie, run up to the house, and fetch my racket. There's a dear!" _Archie_ (_preparing to depart_). "All right. But I say, auntie, don't let anybody take my seat, will you?"] * * * * * [Illustration: BARBAROUS TECHNICALITIES OF LAWN-TENNIS.--_Woolwich Cadet_ (_suddenly, to his poor grandmother, who has had army on the brain ever since he passed his exam._). "The service is awfully severe, by Jove! Look at Colonel Pendragon--he invariably _shoots or hangs_!" _His Poor Grandmother._ "Good Heavens, Algy! I hope you won't be in _his_ regiment!"] * * * * * [Illustration: COMFORTING