_Proud Mother._ "Did you _ever_ see anybody so light and slender as dear Algernon, Jack?" _Uncle Jack_ (_at thirty-five_). "Oh, you mustn't trouble about _that_, Maria. I was _exactly_ his build at eighteen!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "DONKEYS HAVE EARS."--_Emily_ (_playing at lawn-tennis with the new curate_). "What's the game, now, Mr. Miniver?" _Curate._ "Forty--Love." _Irreverent Gardener_ (_overhearing_). "Did y'ever hear such imperence! 'Love,' indeed! And him not been in the parish above a week! Just like them parsons!"] * * * * * [Illustration: LAWN-TENNIS UNDER DIFFICULTIES--"PLAY!" If space is limited, there is no reason why one shouldn't play with one's next-door neighbours, over the garden wall. (One needn't visit them, you know!)] * * * * * [Illustration: _Stout Gentleman_ (_whose play had been conspicuously bad_). "I'm such a wretched feeder, you see, Mrs. Klipper--a wretched feeder! Always was!" _Mrs. Klipper_ (_who doesn't understand lawn-tennis_). "Indeed! Well, I should never have thought it!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _She._ "What a fine looking man Mr. O'Brien is!" _He._ "H'm--hah--rather rough-hewn, I think. Can't say I admire that loud-laughing, strong-voiced, robust kind of man. Now that's a fine-looking woman he's talking to!" _She._ "Well--er--somewhat _effeminate_, you know. Confess I don't admire _effeminate_ women!"] * * * * * LAWN-TENNIS LOBS (_Served by Dumb-Crambo Junior._) [Illustration: GENTLEMEN'S DOUBLES] [Illustration: SMART SERVICE] [Illustration: LADIES SINGLES] [Illustration: BACK PLAY] [Illustration: A SPLENDID RALLY] [Illustration: SMOTHERING THE BAWL] [Illustration: DEUCE!] [Illustration: TWO SETS TO ONE] [Illustration: PLAYING UP TO THE NET] [Illustration: LOVE GAME] * * * * * THE SPORT OF THE FUTURE ["The lawns that were erstwhile cumbered with tennis nets now bristle with croquet hoops, and the sedate mallet has driven out the frisky racquet."--_The World._] Welcome, Reason, on the scene, Milder influences reviving! Far too long have pastimes been Senseless, useless, arduous striving, Brutalising men of strength, Dangerous to those who lack it: Lo! it speaks their doom at length-- The decadence of the racket. Purged from customs fierce and rude Soon shall sports become more gentle, (As the grosser kinds of food Yield the palm to bean and lentil), Roller skates long since are "off," Tennis is no longer O.K., Rivals threaten even golf As the fashion sets for croquet.