* * * * * AMUSEMENTS FOR ASCOT (_Provided for the better sex_) After taking infinite trouble to secure a dream of a dress, to wait expectantly to see whether it will rain or keep up. After arriving on the course to find one's only duchess monopolised by the Buckingham-Browns, to dismay of all semi-outsiders. Between the races to notice one's hated rivals in the sacred enclosure, to which one has no admittance. At luncheon, to contrast the men of this year who have remained at home with those of last season who are now at the front. [Illustration] And--perhaps safest of all--to leave the doubts and fears, the heart-burnings and disappointment of the meeting to others, and to learn all about Ascot by reading the papers. * * * * * [Illustration: "NON EST INVENTUS" (_A Derby Problem._) _Ostler_ (_on the Downs, after the races_). "Don't you even remember 'is colour, guv'nor?"] * * * * * THE PREVAILING PASSION.--_Father_ (_reading newspaper_). I see another Rugby man has been appointed Archbishop of Canterbury. That's the third Rugby man in succession. _Son_ (_a football enthusiast_). Well, I think it is time one of the Association had a turn. [Illustration] BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch's Book of Sport, by Various