Mr. Punch's Book of Sport: The Humour of Cricket, Football, Tennis, Polo, Croquet, Hockey, Racing, &c — John Shaqi
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport: The Humour of Cricket, Football, Tennis, Polo, Croquet, Hockey, Racing, &c
General
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport: The Humour of Cricket, Football, Tennis, Polo, Croquet, Hockey, Racing, &c
English wit and humor; English wit and humor -- Periodicals; Sports -- Anecdotes; Sports -- Humor
A Match has taken place, as you will see by "Le Score" subjoined,
which I enclose for your inspection. It was not without its fruits.
It disclosed to us, as you will remark by referring to "Le Score,"
very practically the dangerous, and I must add, the murderous
capabilities that "Le Cricquette" manifestly possesses. Our
Revising Committee has already the matter in hand, and when their
report is fully drawn up, I shall have much satisfaction in
forwarding it to you. Meantime, I must say that the substitution of
a light large ball of silk, or some other soft material for the
deadly "_boule de canon_" as used by your countrymen, has been
decided upon as absolutely necessary to deprive the game of
barbarism, and harmonise it with the instincts which Modern and
Republican France associates with the pursuit of a harmless
pastime. _Les wickettes_, as being too small for the Bowlsman to
reach them, should be raised to six feet high, and the Umpire, a
grave anomaly in a game cherished by a liberty-loving people,
should be instantly suppressed. The "overre," too, should consist
of sixteen balls. But this and many other matters are under the
consideration of the Committee. I now subjoin "Le Score" I
mentioned; a brief perusal of it will show you what excellent
grounds the Committee have for making the humanising alterations at
which I have hinted.
ALL FRANCE v. AN ENGLISH 'OME-TEAM.
ALL FRANCE.
M. DE BOISSY (struck with murderous force on the front of his
forehead by the _boule de canon_, and obliged to retire),
b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
M. NAUDIN (hit on his fingers, which are pinched blue with the
_boule de canon_, and incapacitated), b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
Le Marquis de CAROUSEL (receives a blow from the _boule de canon_
on the front bone of his leg, and is compelled to relinquish the
contest), b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
M. BUSSON (receives a severe contusion of the cheek-bone from the
_boule de canon_, which is delivered with murderous intent by a
swift "round-and bowlsman"), b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
Le Général GREX (hits his three _wickettes_ into the air, in a
daring attempt to stop the _boule de canon_ with his batsman's
club), b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
Le Duc de SEPTFACES (has his _pince-nez_ shattered to atoms by the
_boule de canon_, and, being unable to see, withdraws from the
"innings"), b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
M. CARILLON, M. le docteur GIROFLÉ, le Professeur d'Equitation (all
the three being given, in turn, "out, legs in front of the
_wickette_," leave the ground to arrange a duel with the Umpire),
b. JONES-JOHNSON....0
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account