"Hoxford, Jemmy, to be sure, you muff," answered Robbins. "'Cos vy, I prefers hindustry to hidleness." * * * * * [Illustration: A BANK HOLIDAY REMINISCENCE. _'Arry._ "Ow much an hour, guv'nor?" _Horsekeeper._ "Eighteenpence." _'Arry._ "All right. I'll have a ride." _Horsekeeper._ "Well, you've got to leave 'arf a crown on the 'orse?"] * * * * * [Illustration: POOR LETTER "H" "Have you got any _whole_ strawberry jam?" "No, miss. All ours is quite new!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SONGS OF THE SUMMER "The weather seems to be improving, Nupkins!" "Yes, miss; the nightingale and the cuckoo is a-'ollerin', every night!"] * * * * * 'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will, "The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill"; And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare, The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air! * * * * * COCKNEY EPITAPH FOR A COOK.--"Peace to his hashes." * * * * * "A Horse," observed a Scotch vet., "may have a very good appetite, and yet be unable to eat a bit." "Ah," said 'Arry, "there's the difference between a 'oss and a ostridge, which could eat bit, snaffle, curb and all." * * * * * LE SPORT. A Cockney sportsman, wishing to introduce hare-hunting into France, is seriously meditating a work on the subject, to be entitled, _Arriere-pensees_; _or, Thoughts on Keeping 'Ariers_. His _nom de plume_ will be _Le petit Jean du_ Jockey Club. * * * * * [Illustration: _'Arriet (as a bee alights on her hand)._ "My word, 'Arry, wot a pretty fly!" (_Sting._) "Crikey! ain't 'is feet 'ot!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "'Ullo, Jim, look 'ere! 'Ere's a noo stachoo! Lend us yer knife!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Jinks._ "I want to buy a dog. I don't know what they call the breed, but it is something the shape of a greyhound, with a short curly tail and rough hair. Do you keep dogs like that?" _Fancier._ "No. I drowns 'em!"] * * * * * COCKNEY PHILOSOPHY. The Socratic mode of argument is the only true mode of chopping logic, because it proceeds altogether on the principle of axing questions. * * * * * 'ARRY PUTS 'EM RIGHT. The _Daily Chronicle_--recently suggested that the plural of rhinoceros is a disputed point. 'Arry writes: "What O, _Mr. P._, 'disputed'?--not a bit. Any kiddy as 'as 'ad 'arf an eddication knows what the plural of ''oss' is, don't he? No matter as to its bein' spelt ''os' or ''oss.' Plural, anyway ''osses.' 'Bus-'os'--'Bus-'osses.' 'Rhinocer-os'--'Rhinocer-osses.' That's as plain as an 'aystack, ain't it?" "Yours, "'ARRY." * * * * *