As you were!... Form Square!... Mark Time!... Slope Arms!... now--’Tention!... (_These military evolutions should all be gone through by the Artist._) Forward, Guards! [_To be yelled through music._ _Chorus._ Onward every ’ero marches, In the Guards! Doncher know? All the “’Ughies,” “Berties,” “Archies,” Of the Guards! Doncher know? They may twist their long moustarches, For they’re Guards! Doncher know? Dandies? yes,--but dandy _lions_ are the Guards! Bing-_Bang_! [_Red fire and smoke at wings, as curtain falls upon the Military Impersonator in the act of changing to a new attitude._ MODEL MUSIC HALL. DRAMAS. [Illustration: THE LITTLE CROSSING-SWEEPER.] I.--THE LITTLE CROSSING-SWEEPER. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. _The Little Crossing-Sweeper_ By the unrivalled Variety Artist Miss JENNY JINKS. _The Duke of Dillwater_ Mr. HENRY IRVING. [_Specially engaged; Mr. Punch is sure that he will cheerfully make some slight sacrifice for so good a cause, and he can easily slip out and get back again between the Acts of “Henry the 8th.”_ _A Policeman_ Mr. RUTLAND BARRINGTON. [_Engaged, at enormous expense, during the entire run of this piece._ _A Butler_ (_his original part_) Mr. ARTHUR CECIL. _Foot-passengers_, _Flunkeys_, _Burglars_.--By the celebrated Knockabout Quick-change Troupe. SCENE I.--_Exterior of the_ Duke’s _Mansion in Euston Square by night. On the right, a realistic Moon (by kind permission of_ Professor HERKOMER) _is rising slowly behind a lamp-post. On left centre, a practicable pillar-box, and crossing, with real mud. Slow Music, as_ Miss JENNY JINKS _enters, in rags, with broom. Various Characters cross the street, post letters, &c._; Miss JINKS _follows them, begging piteously for a copper, which is invariably refused, whereupon she assails them with choice specimens of street sarcasm--which the Lady may be safely trusted to improvise for herself_. _Miss Jenny Jinks_ (_leaning despondently against pillar-box, on which a ray of limelight falls in the opposite direction to the Moon_). Ah, this cruel London, so marble-’arted and vast, Where all who try to act honest are condemned to fast! _Enter two_ Burglars, _cautiously_. _First B._ (_to_ Miss J. J.) We can put you up to a fake as will be worth your while, For you seem a sharp, ’andy lad, and just our style! [_They proceed to unfold a scheme to break into the Ducal abode, and offer_ Miss J. _a share of the spoil, if she will allow herself to be put through the pantry window_.