Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas — John Shaqi
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
* * * * *
ACT THIRD
_The same room_--_except that the sofa has been slightly moved, and one
of the Japanese cotton-wool frogs has fallen into the fire-place_. MRS.
LINDEN _sits and reads a book_--_but without understanding a single
line_.
MRS. LINDEN.
[_Laying down her book, as a light tread is heard outside_.] Here he is
at last! [KROGSTAD _comes in, and stands in the doorway._] Mr. Krogstad,
I have given you a secret _rendezvous_ in this room, because it belongs
to my employer, Mr. Helmer, who has lately discharged you. The etiquette
of Norway permits these slight freedoms on the part of a female
cashier.
KROGSTAD.
It does. Are we alone? [NORA _is heard overhead dancing the
Tarantella_.] Yes, I hear Mrs. Helmer's fairy footfall above. She dances
the Tarantella now--by-and-by she will dance to another tune! [_Changing
his tone._] I don't exactly know why you should wish to have this
interview--after jilting me as you did, long ago, though?
MRS. LINDEN.
Don't you? _I_ do. I am a widow--a Norwegian widow. And it has occurred
to me that there may be a nobler side to your nature somewhere--though
you have not precisely the best of reputations.
KROGSTAD.
Right. I am a forger, and a money-lender; I am on the staff of the
Norwegian _Punch_--a most scurrilous paper. More, I have been
blackmailing Mrs. Helmer by trading on her fears, like a low cowardly
cur. But, in spite of all that--[_clasping his hands_]--there are the
makings of a fine man about me _yet_, Christina!
MRS. LINDEN.
I believe you--at least, I'll chance it. I want some one to care for,
and I'll marry you.
KROGSTAD.
[_Suspiciously._] On condition, I suppose, that I suppress the letter
denouncing Mrs. Helmer?
MRS. LINDEN.
How can you think so? I am her dearest friend; but I can still see her
faults, and it is my firm opinion that a sharp lesson will do her all
the good in the world. She is _much_ too comfortable. So leave the
letter in the box, and come home with me.
KROGSTAD.
I am wildly happy! Engaged to the female cashier of the manager who has
discharged me, our future is bright and secure!
[_He goes out; and_ MRS. LINDEN _sets the furniture straight;
presently a noise is heard outside, and_ HELMER _enters, dragging_
NORA _in. She is in fancy dress, and he in an open black domino._
NORA.
I shan't! It's too early to come away from such a nice party. I _won't_
go to bed!
[_She whimpers._
HELMER.
[_Tenderly._] There'sh a naughty lil' larkie for you, Mrs. Linen!
Poshtively had to drag her 'way! She'sh a capricious lil' girl--from
Capri. 'Scuse me!--'fraid I've been and made a pun. Shan' 'cur again!
Shplendid champagne the Consul gave us--'counts for it! [_Sits down
smiling._] Do you _knit_, Mrs. Cotton?... You shouldn't. Never knit.
'Broider. [_Nodding to her, solemnly._] 'Member that. Alwaysh
_'broider_. More--[_hiccoughing_]--Oriental! Gobblesh you!--goo'ni!
MRS. LINDEN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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