Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
[_He puts hat on chair close to table._
AUNT JULIE.
[_Giggling._] It was for Hedda's sake--to go out walking with her in.
[HEDDA _approaches from the back-room; she is pallid, with cold, open,
steel-grey eyes; her hair is not very thick, but what there is of it is
an agreeable medium brown._] Ah, dear Hedda!
[_She attempts to cuddle her._
HEDDA.
[_Shrinking back._] Ugh, let me go, do! [_Looking at_ AUNT JULIE'S
_hat._] Tesman, you must really tell the housemaid not to leave her old
hat about on the drawing-room chairs. Oh, is it _your_ hat? Sorry I
spoke, I'm sure!
AUNT JULIE.
[_Annoyed._] Good gracious, little Mrs. Hedda; my nice new hat that I
bought to go out walking with _you_ in!
GEORGE.
[_Patting her on the back._] Yes, Hedda, she did, and the parasol too!
Fancy, Aunt Julie always positively thinks of everything, eh?
HEDDA.
[_Coldly._] You hold _your_ tongue. Catch me going out walking with your
aunt! One doesn't _do_ such things.
GEORGE.
[_Beaming._] Isn't she a charming woman? Such fascinating manners! My
goodness, eh? Fancy that!
AUNT JULIE.
Ah, dear George, you ought indeed to be happy--but [_brings out a flat
package wrapped in newspaper_] look _here_, my dear boy!
GEORGE.
[_Opens it._] What? my dear old morning shoes! my slippers! [_Breaks
down._] This is positively too touching, Hedda, eh? Do you remember how
badly I wanted them all the honeymoon? Come and just have a look at
them--you _may_!
HEDDA.
Bother your old slippers and your old aunt too! [AUNT JULIE _goes out
annoyed, followed by_ GEORGE, _still thanking her warmly for the
slippers;_ HEDDA _yawns;_ GEORGE _comes back and places his old slippers
reverently on the table._] Why, here comes Mrs. Elvsted--_another_ early
caller! She had irritating hair, and went about making a sensation with
it--an old flame of yours, I've heard.
[_Enter_ MRS. ELVSTED; _she is pretty and gentle, with copious wavy
white-gold hair and round prominent eyes, and the manner of a
frightened rabbit._
MRS. ELVSTED.
[_Nervous._] Oh, please, I'm so perfectly in despair. Ejlert Lövborg,
you know, who was our tutor; he's written such a large new book. I
inspired him. Oh, I know I don't look like it--but I did--he told me so.
And, good gracious! now he's in this dangerous wicked town all alone,
and he's a reformed character, and I'm _so_ frightened about him; so, as
the wife of a sheriff twenty years older than me, I came up to look
after Mr. Lövborg. Do ask him here--then I can meet him. You will? How
perfectly lovely of you! My husband's _so_ fond of him!
HEDDA.
George, go and write an invitation at once; do you hear? [GEORGE _looks
around for his slippers, takes them up and goes out._] Now we can talk,
my little Thea. Do you remember how I used to pull your hair when we met
on the stairs, and say I would scorch it off? Seeing people with copious
hair always _does_ irritate me.
MRS. ELVSTED.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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