Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
Shall I tell you how to regain your father's confidence, and bring him
home surely? Sacrifice the Wild Duck.
HEDVIG.
Do you think that will do any good?
GREGERS.
You just _try_ it!
[_Curtain._
* * * * *
ACT FOURTH
_Same Scene._ GREGERS _enters, and finds_ GINA _retouching photographs_.
GREGERS.
[_Pleasantly._] Hialmar not come in yet, after last night, I suppose?
GINA.
Not he! He's been out on the loose all night with Relling and Mölvik.
Now he's snoring on their sofa.
GREGERS.
[_Disappointed._] Dear!--dear!--when he ought to be yearning to wrestle
in solitude and self-examination!
GINA.
[_Rudely._] Self-examine your grandmother!
[_She goes out_; HEDVIG _comes in_.
GREGERS.
[_To_ HEDVIG.] Ah, I see you haven't found courage to settle the Wild
Duck yet!
HEDVIG.
No--it seemed such a delightful idea at first. Now it strikes me as a
trifle--well, _Ibsenish_.
GREGERS.
[_Reprovingly._] I _thought_ you hadn't grown up quite unharmed in this
house! But if you really had the true, joyous spirit of self-sacrifice,
you'd have a shot at that Wild Duck, if you died for it!
HEDVIG.
[_Slowly._] I see; you mean that my constitution's changing, and I ought
to behave as such?
GREGERS.
Exactly, I'm what Americans would term a "crank"--but _I_ believe in
you, Hedvig.
[HEDVIG _takes down the pistol from the mantelpiece, and goes into
the garret with flashing eyes_; GINA _comes in_.
HIALMAR.
[_Looking in at door with hesitation; he is unwashed and dishevelled._]
Has anybody happened to see my hat?
GINA.
Gracious, what a sight you are! Sit down and have some breakfast, do.
[_She brings it._
HIALMAR.
[_Indignantly._] What! touch food under _this_ roof? Never! [_Helps
himself to bread-and-butter and coffee._] Go and pack up my scientific
uncut books, my manuscripts, and all the best rabbits, in my
portmanteau. I am going away for ever. On second thoughts, I shall stay
in the spare room for another day or two--it won't be the same as living
with you!
[_He takes some salt meat._
GREGERS.
_Must_ you go? Just when you've got nice firm ground to build
upon--thanks to me! Then there's your great invention, too.
HIALMAR.
Everything's invented already. And I only cared about my invention
because, although it doesn't exist yet, I thought Hedvig believed in it,
with all the strength of her sweet little short-sighted eyes! But now I
don't believe in Hedvig!
[_He pours himself out another cup of coffee._
GREGERS.
[_Earnestly._] But, Hialmar, if I can prove to you that she is ready to
sacrifice her cherished Wild Duck? See!
[_He pushes back sliding-door, and discovers_ HEDVIG _aiming at the_
Wild Duck _with the butt-end of the pistol. Tableau._
GINA.
[_Excitedly._] But don't you _see_? It's the pigstol--that fatal
Norwegian weapon which, in Ibsenian dramas, _never_ shoots straight! And
she has got it by the wrong end too. She will shoot herself!
GREGERS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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