[_Quietly._] She will! Let the child make amends. It will be a most realistic and impressive finale! GINA. No, no--put down the pigstol, Hedvig. Do you hear, child? HEDVIG. [_Still aiming._] I hear--but I shan't unless father tells me to. GREGERS. Hialmar, show the great soul I always _said_ you had. This sorrow will set free what is noble in you. Don't spoil a fine situation. Be a man! Let the child shoot herself! HIALMAR. [_Irresolutely._] Well, really, I don't know. There's a good deal in what Gregers says. H'm! GINA. A good deal of tomfool rubbish! I'm illiterate, I know. I've been a Wild Duck in my time, and I waddle. But for all that, I'm the only person in the play with a grain of common-sense. And I'm sure--whatever Mr. Ibsen or Gregers choose to say--that a screaming burlesque like this ought _not_ to end like a tragedy--even in this queer Norway of ours! And it shan't, either! Tell the child to put that nasty pigstol down, and come away--do! [Illustration: "Put that nasty pigstol down!"] HIALMAR. [_Yielding._] Ah, well, I am a farcical character myself, after all. Don't touch a hair of that duck's head, Hedvig. Come to my arms and all shall be forgiven! [HEDVIG _throws down the pistol--which goes off and kills a rabbit--and rushes into her father's arms_. Old EKDAL _comes out of a corner with a fowl on each shoulder, and bursts into tears. Affecting family picture._ GREGERS. [_Annoyed._] It's all very pretty, I dare say--but it's not Ibsen! My real mission is to be the thirteenth at table. I don't know what I mean--but I fly to fulfil it! [_He goes._ HIALMAR. And now we've got rid of _him_, Hedvig, fetch me the deed of gift I tore up, and a slip of paper, and a penny bottle of gum, and we'll soon make a valid instrument of it again. [_He pastes the torn deed together as the Curtain slowly descends._ * * * * * PILL-DOCTOR HERDAL [PREFATORY NOTE.--The original title--_Mester-Pjil-drögster Herdal_--would sound a trifle too uncouth to the Philistine ear, and is therefore modified as above, although the term "drögster," strictly speaking, denotes a practitioner who has not received a regular diploma]. ACT FIRST _An elegantly furnished drawing-room at_ Dr. HERDAL'S. _In front, on the left, a console-table, on which is a large round bottle full of coloured water. On the right a stove, with a banner-screen made out of a richly-embroidered chest-protector. On the stove, a stethoscope and a small galvanic battery. In one corner, a hat and umbrella stand: in another, a desk, at which stands_ SENNA BLAKDRAF, _making out the quarterly accounts. Through a glass-door at the back is seen the Dispensary, where_ RÜBUB KALOMEL _is seated, occupied in rolling a pill. Both go on working in perfect silence for four minutes and a half._ DR. HAUSTUS HERDAL.