[Illustration: A YOUNG HUMANITARIAN “Oh, mamma, mamma, couldn’t you interfere? There’s a horrid man squeezing something under his arm, and he _is_ hurting it so!”] _Dr. Johnson._ Sir, I am sorry that my meaning should require explanation. I say that the name Edinburgh is appropriate, because I find the city primitive and beautiful. Adam and Eve would, doubtless, have held it in high consideration had they had the advantage of its possession. In short, sir, they would have called it the town of their Eden, or Edinburgh. _Mr. Boswell._ A pun, sir! “It was a pun, sir!” cried the Doctor, very angrily, and I hastened to change the subject. “I am surprised to find, sir,” said I, “that Her Majesty does not reside at Edinburgh. Do you not think, sir, that she might use her Scottish Palace at Christmas time?” “No, sir, I do not think so,” replied the Doctor, “and I can find no reason for your surprise.” “Indeed, sir!” _Dr. Johnson._ Sir, were Her Most Gracious Majesty to dwell at Edinburgh at Christmas time, she would be put to great inconvenience. Her Most Gracious Majesty exhibits excellent sense in selecting Balmoral for her residence. _Mr. Boswell._ Sir, I trust you do not call in question my loyalty to the House of Brunswick? _Dr. Johnson._ Sir, I do not; I only question your wisdom. [Illustration: CAPACITY! _First Traveller (proffering his mull)._ “Tak a pench?” _Second Traveller._ “Na, ’m obleeged t’ye--ah dinna tak’t.” _First Traveller._ “Man!--that’s a pety!--ye’ve gr-r-raund accaummodation for’t!”] _Mr. Boswell._ Sir, if I do not trouble you, will you explain to me why Her Majesty should avoid Edinburgh at Christmas time? _Dr. Johnson._ Why, sir, the very branches put up in honour of the festive season would treat her with disrespect! _Mr. Boswell._ Indeed, sir! _Dr. Johnson._ Sir, if Her Most Gracious Majesty visited Edinburgh at Christmas time, would she not find _Holly-rood_? _Mr. Boswell._ Another pun, sir! “It was another pun, sir!” cried the Doctor, very wrathfully, and I said no more. The next day we visited Stirling. We walked up to the Castle, and admired the magnificent view we there obtained of the surrounding country. We next examined the ramparts. “These old walls, sir,” said I, “must weigh many thousand tons avoirdupois.” “Sir,” replied the Doctor, “you should have said pounds _Stirling_!” “Another pun, sir!” I exclaimed. “It was another pun, sir!” roared the Doctor, and I thought it best to hold my peace. [Illustration: DE MORTUIS _Sympathetic Young Mother._ “I wunner ye could be sae cruel as to kill that bonnie wee cauf!” _Practical Butcher._ “Weel, ye see, ye’ll no eat them leevin’!”] The next morning found us at Perth. Here we were received most hospitably by the gentry and the people. In the company of our host (a gentleman of the highest consideration in “The Fair City”), we ascended Kinnoul Hill, and greatly admired the splendid scenery. “A very lovely spot, sir,” I ventured to observe.