[Illustration: MORE ORNAMENTAL THAN USEFUL.--"Just give that bit o' lead a bite atween yer teeth, will yer, matie?" "Ain't ye got no teeth of yer own?" "I got some, but there ain't none of 'em opposite one another."] * * * * * [Illustration: ANTICIPATION.--_Piscator_ (_short-sighted; he had been trolling all day for a big pike that lay in a hole about here_). "Quick, Jarvis--the landing-net--I've got him!" _Jarvis._ "Ah, sir, it's only an old fryin'-pan! But that will be useful, y'know, sir, when we do catch him!"] * * * * * A PUNT POEM I'm a fisherman bold, And I don't mind the cold, Nor care about getting wet through! I don't mind the rain, Or rheumatical pain, Or even the tic-douloureux! I'm a fisherman damp, Though I suffer from cramp, Let weather be foul or be fine, From morning till night Will I wait for a bite, And never see cause to repine! I'm a fisherman glad, And I never am sad; I care not to shoot or to hunt; I would be quite content If my whole life were spent From morning to night in a punt! I'm a fisherman brave, And I carol a stave In praise of the rod and the line! From the bank, or a boat, Will I gaze on my float-- What life is so happy as mine? * * * * * [Illustration: _Big Scotchman._ "Confound these midges!" _Little Cockney._ "Why, they 'aven't touched me!" _Big Scotchman._ "Maybe they have na noticed ye yet!"] * * * * * THE GREATEST ANGLE OF ELEVATION.--Fishing off the top of Shakespeare's Cliff. * * * * * BAIT AND WHITEBAIT The "gentle" craft some people angling name; The "lobworm" might more truly call the same. * * * * * [Illustration: _First Angler_ (_to country boy_) "I say, my lad just go to my friend on the bridge there, and say I should be much obliged to him if he'd send me some bait."] [Illustration: _Country Boy_ (_to second angler, in the Eastern Counties language_). "Tha' there bo' sahy he want a wurrum!!"] * * * * * THE LAY OF A SUCCESSFUL ANGLER The dainty artificial fly Designed to catch the wily trout, Full loud _laudabunt alii_, And I will join, at times, no doubt, But yet my praise, without pretence, Is not from great experience. I talk as well as anyone About the different kinds of tackle, I praise the Gnat, the Olive Dun, Discuss the worth of wings and hackle I've flies myself of each design, No book is better filled than mine.