Finally, _Mr. Punch_ is never likely to meet the man who, having read the above, will not own that it is strictly true of those who pursue the pleasant pastime of shooting when, as the eminent Burton puts it, "they have leisure from public cares and business." * * * * * [Illustration: THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER. (_Our sporting French friend, voted dangerous, has been given a beat to himself._)--_Chorus._ "Well, Count, what luck?" _Count._ "Magnifique! I have only shot one! Mais voilà! Qu'il est beau! The King partridge! Regardez ses plumes! N'est ce pas?"] * * * * * [Illustration: Marking black game] * * * * * [Illustration: Small bags--one brace] * * * * * [Illustration: "EVERY EXCUSE."--_Brigson_ (_excited_). "Hullo!--There goes a----" (_Ups with his gun!_) _His Host_ (_clutching his arm_). "Good Heavens!--You're not going to shoot that fox?" _Brigson._ "My dear f'ller! wh'-wh'-why not? This is the last day I shall have this season--and I--I feel as if I could shoot my own mother-in-law--if she rose!"] * * * * * [Illustration: Giving 'em both barrels] * * * * * [Illustration: Dropped his bird] * * * * * SONG OF "THE MISSING SPORTSMAN" How happy could I be on heather, A-shooting at grouse all the day, If only the birds in high feather Would not, when I shoot, fly away! * * * * * [Illustration: _Brown_ (_after an hour's digging for the ferret_). "Call this rabbit shootin'? _I_ call it landscape gardening!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "So you don't think much of my retrievers?" "On the contrary. I think you have two most valuable watch dogs."] * * * * * "ONCE HIT TWICE SHY."--_Guest_ (_taking keeper aside_). "Look here, Smithers"--(_gives half-a-sov._)--"Put me out o' gunshot of the Squire. He does shoot so precious wild, and my nerve isn't what it used to be!" * * * * * [Illustration: "GROUND GAME."--_Wife._ "Ah, then you've been successful at last, dear!" _Husband_ (_prevaricating_). "Ye--yes, I bagged----" _Wife_ (_sniffing_). "And _high_ time you did! I should say by the--oh! it must be cooked to-day!" [_It came out afterwards the impostor had bagged it at the poulterer's_ ] * * * * * [Illustration: SCENE--_A shooting party, August 12_ (_M. F. H. is introduced to distinguished foreigner_) "You hunt much of the fox, monsieur? I also, and have already of him shot twenty-five, and have wounded many more!"] * * * * *