[Illustration: HIS "FIRST."--_Brown_ (_good chap, but never fired a gun in his life_)._ "I say, you fellows, I don't mind confessing that I am a bit nervous, you know. _I hope none of you will pepper me!_"] * * * * * LE SPORT ["The French sportswoman is not ardent, but just now _Le Sport_ is the thing."--_Daily Paper._] Ze leetle bairds zat fly ze air I vish zem not ze 'arms-- Zat is not vy ze gun I bear So _bravement_ in mine arms; 'Tis not zat I vould kill--_Ah! non!_ It is zat I adore Ze noble _institution_ Ve call in France _Le Sport_. And zen ze costume! Ah! ze 'at! Ze gaitares! Vot more sweet For ze young female-chaser zat Do 'ave ze leetle feet? Ze gun?--I fear 'im much, and oh! 'E makes my shouldare sore, But yet I do 'im bear to show 'Ow much I love _Le Sport_. Ze leetle partridge 'e may lay 'Is pretty leetle eggs, Ze leetle pheasant 'op away Upon 'is leetle legs, Ze leetle 'are zat run _si vite_ I do not vish 'is gore-- But vile mine ankles zey are neat I'll cry, "_Ah! Vive le Sport!_" * * * * * [Illustration: _Keeper_ (_to beater_). "What are you doin' here? Why don't ye go and spread yourself out?" _Beater._ "Zo I were spread out, and t'other man 'e told I, I were too wide!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Master Bob._ "I say, Adam, that was a pretty bad miss." _Keeper._ "'Twasn't even that, Master Bob. 'Twas firing in a totally wrong direction."] * * * * * [Illustration: "Beg pardon, sir! But if you was to aim at his lordship the next time, I think he'd feel more comforbler, sir!"] * * * * * LOVE AMONG THE PARTRIDGES September's first, the day was fair, We sought the pleasant stubble, The birds were rising everywhere, The old dog gave no trouble. And still my friend missed every shot, While I ne'er fired in vain. I said, "Perchance the day's too hot?" He cried, "Amelia Jane!" We shot throughout the livelong day, We always shoot together, And yet in a disgraceful way, He never touched a feather. I said, "How is it that you muff Your birds, my boy? Explain." He sighed and said, "I know it's rough But, oh, Amelia Jane!" Quoth I, "Amelia Jane may be As plump as any partridge, But that's no reason I can see Why you should waste each cartridge." He shot the dog, then missed my head, But caused the keeper pain; Then broke his gun and wildly fled To join Amelia Jane! * * * * * [Illustration: "ENOUGH OF IT."--_Country Squire._ "By George! Tom, you've gone and shot the dog!"