_Head Keeper_ (_on the First_). "Werry sorry, my lord, but this 'ere's th' on'y one as we've manisht to rare. Will I put it up for your lordship?"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Beater_ (_to hare that refuses to leave her form_). "Get oop, ye lazy little beggar an' join in t' spoort!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SHOOTING PROSPECTS _Johnnie Bangs._ "I say, old man, do you mind taking these cartridges out? I've never used a gun before, don't you know!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE END OF THE SEASON.--_Passing Friend._ "Hulloa, Jack! Why on earth are you hiding there?" _Jack._ "Only safe place, don't you know. Governor's giving the tenants a day to finish the covers. They've just about finished two dogs and a beater already!"] * * * * * THE "CHEEP" OF THE PARTRIDGE _Perdix Cinerea loquitur_ 'Tis the voice of the sportsman. I hear him complain, "All my hopes of big bags have been damped by the rain. With birds shy and scarce, flooded furze and no stubble, To beat dripping covers is scarce worth the trouble." Aha! The wind's ill that blows nobody good, True, the wet has proved fatal to many a brood, Parent birds have made moan over eggs swamped and addled, When our covers were lakes in which ducks might have paddled, But partridges drowned when they'd scarce chipped the shell, Yet,--yes, on the whole, 'tis perhaps just as well. Water! Better than fire; and a cold in the head Is not _quite_ so bad as a dose of cold lead. Prime time for swell vassals of powder and shot! What's September to them, without plenty to pot? Oh! won't they fume, as they look out this morn On these damp furzy swamps, and yon drenched standing corn? Poor grumbling gun-maniacs! Isn't it fun? In the game "Birds _v._ Barrels" we birds will score one Just for once, I should hope. In this beautiful bog I am safe, I should fancy, from man, gun, and dog. They may bag a few birds on the skirts of the wheat, But I don't think _this_ cover will pay 'em to beat. St. Partridge be bothered! St. Swithin's _my_ Saint, May his rainy rain last, _I_ shall make no complaint. No! Farmers and sportsmen may grumble together-- For my part, I rather approve of the weather. [_Left chuckling._ * * * * * [Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS. GROUSE DRIVING Birds coming straight towards you sometimes offer a very unsatisfactory shot.] * * * * * OVER THE STUBBLE.--_Mr. Winchester Poppit_ (_at the luncheon by the coppice_). I must say that I like to see partridges driven.