_Son._ 'Cause I heard 'ma say she'd no idea what a tremenjous v'cab'lary you'd got, till you missed the train on Saturday! * * * * * AT THE SUNDAY SCHOOL--_Teacher._ Now, Mary Brown, you understand what is meant by baptism? _Mary Brown._ Oh, _I_ know, teacher! It's what Dr. Franklin did on baby's arm last Toosday! * * * * * [Illustration: A LITTLE CHRISTMAS DREAM.--Mr. L. Figuier, in the thesis which precedes his interesting work on the world before the flood, condemns the practice of awakening the youthful mind to admiration by means of fables and fairy tales, and recommends, in lieu thereof, the study of the natural history of the world in which we live. Fired by this advice, we have tried the experiment on our eldest, an imaginative boy of six. We have cut off his "Cinderella" and his "Puss in Boots," and introduced him to some of the more peaceful fauna of the preadamite world, as they appear restored in Mr. Figuier's book. The poor boy has not had a decent night's rest ever since!] * * * * * YOUNG, BUT PRACTICAL.--"What! Harry! not in bed yet, and it's nine o'clock! What will _papa_ say when he comes home?" "Oh, papa! _He'll_ say, 'Supper! supper! What's for supper?'" * * * * * A REALIST IN FICTION.--"I saw a rabbit run through that hedge!" "No, dear. It was imagination!" "Are 'maginations white behind?" * * * * * IMPROVING THE SHINING HOUR.--_The new Governess._ What are the comparative and superlative of _bad_, Berty? _Berty_ (_the Doctor's son_). Bad--worse--dead. * * * * * A CAPITAL CHOICE.--_Cousin Amy._ So you haven't made up your mind yet what _profession_ you're going to be when you grow up, Bobby. _Bobby._ Well, yes! I don't exactly know what it's called, you know, but it's living in the country, and keeping lots of horses and dogs, and all that! [_Bobby's papa is a curate, with £200 a year._ * * * * * [Illustration: EARLY INGENUITY. "Whatever _are_ you children doing?" "Oh, we've found pa's false teeth, and we're trying to fit them on to the baby, 'cos he hasn't got any!"] * * * * * THE SICK CHILD BY THE HONOURABLE WILHELMINA SKEGGS