[Illustration: A SPOILT STORY.--_Brown_ (_in the middle of tall shooting story_). "Hardly had I taken aim at the lion on my right, when I heard a rustle in the jungle grass, and perceived an enormous tiger approaching on my left. I now found myself on the horns of a dilemma!" _Interested Little Boy._ "Oh, and which did you shoot first--the lion, or the tiger, or the d'lemma?"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Uncle_ (_about to start for a concert at Marine Pavilion_). "But, my dear Nora, you don't surely propose to go without your shoes and stockings?" _Nora._ "I'm in evening dress, uncle--only it's the other end."] * * * * * [Illustration: THE TERTIUM QUID.--"Do you know, Mabel, I believe if I weren't here, Captain Spooner would kiss you." "Leave the room this instant, you impertinent little boy!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A CLINCHER.--"Get up, and see the time, Eva. I don't know how to tell it." "No more do I." "O, you horrid story-teller, I taught you myself!"] * * * * * [Illustration: CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES "What! _all_ that for grandpa." "No, darling. It's for you." "Oh! what a little bit!"] * * * * * [Illustration: BRUSHING PA'S NEW HAT _Edith._ "Now, Tommy, you keep turning slowly, till we've done it all round."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mother._ "But, Jacky, I don't think a clock-work engine would be a good toy for you to give baby. He's such a little thing, he'd only break it." _Jacky._ "Oh, but, mother, I'd _promise_ you I'd never let him even _touch_ it!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE FESTIVE SEASON _Precocious Infant._ "Help yourself, and pass the bottle!"] * * * * * [Illustration: DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.--_Maud_ (_with much sympathy in her voice_). "Only fancy, mamma, Uncle Jack took us to a picture gallery in Bond Street, and there we saw a picture of a lot of early christians, poor dears, who'd been thrown to a lot of lions and tigers, who were devouring them!" _Ethel_ (_with still more sympathy_). "Yes, and mamma dear, there was _one_ poor tiger that _hadn't got_ a christian!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mother_ (_to son, who has been growing rather free of speech_). "Tommy, if you promise not to say 'hang it!' again, I'll give you sixpence." _Tommy._ "All right, ma. But I know another word that's worth half-a-crown!"] * * * * * [Illustration: BETWEEN THE ACTS _Governess._ "Well, Marjorie, have you done crying?" _Marjorie._ "No--I haven't. I'm only _resting_!"] * * * * *