CHRONOLOGY.--_Old Gentleman_ ("_putting a few questions_"). Now, boys--ah--can any of you tell me what commandment Adam broke when he took the forbidden fruit? _Small Scholar_ ("_like a shot_"). Please, sir, th'worn't no commandments then, sir! [_Questioner sits corrected._] * * * * * AT A CHILDREN'S PARTY DURING TEA Yes, _isn't_ it a pretty sight.... Oh, they're _much_ too busy to talk at present.... Well, if you _would_ take this cup of tea to my little girl, dear Mr. Muffett, it would be so----Yes, in the white frock.... _Pray_ don't apologise--some tea upsets _so_ easily, doesn't it?... Oh! I don't suppose it will show, really, and if it _does_.... Please, will everybody keep quite quiet for a minute or two; I haven't said my grace.... Don't you think it's unfair of nurse? She's handed me bread-and-butter twice running!... I mustn't eat sponge-cake, thank you. Bath buns are better for me than anything.... I was _so_ ill after Christmas. They took my temperament with the barometer, and it was two hundred and six!... Oh! that's nothing. When _I_ was ill, the doctor said mine was perfectly Norman!... Well, you _might_ lower that candleshade a _very_ little, perhaps, Mr. Muffett.... Ah! don't blow it out.... Throw it into the fire, quick!... It doesn't matter in the _least_. No; I wouldn't trouble about the _other_ shades, thanks.... Mother, will you read me the text out of my cracker?... But if you're going to be a soldier, you oughtn't to shut your eyes when you pull a cracker.... Oh! when I'm a soldier, I needn't _go_ to parties. * * * * * [Illustration: WELL BROUGHT UP.--"Now then, my little men, didn't you see that board on that tree?" "Yes." "Well, then, can't you read?" "Yes, but we never look at anything marked 'private.'"] * * * * * DURING A PERFORMANCE OF PUNCH AND JUDY _A Thoughtful Child._ What a dreadful thing it would be to have a papa like Punch! _A Puzzled Child._ Mother, why is the man at the side so _polite_ to Punch? He calls him "Sir"--is Punch _really_ a gentleman? _A Good Little Girl._ I do wish they would leave all the fighting out; it must set such a bad example to children. _An Appreciative Boy._ Oh! I say, _did_ you hear what the clown said then? He said something had frightened all the hair off his head except that little tuft at the top, and it turned _that_ sky-blue! [_He goes into fits of laughter._ _A Matter-of-fact Boy._ Yes, I heard--but I don't believe it _could_. _The Child of the House._ I _am_ so glad Tip is shut up downstairs, because I'm afraid, if he'd been up here and seen Toby act, he'd have wanted to run away and go on the stage himself, and I don't think he's the sort of dog who would ever be a _success_, you know! * * * * * [Illustration: THE JOYS OF ANTICIPATION.--"When are you coming out with me, mummy?"