[Illustration: "I say, Billie, teacher says as if we 'angs our stockings up on C'ris'mas Eve, Santa Claus'll fill 'em with presents!" "It'll take 'im all 'is time to fill _mine_. I 'aven't got no foots in 'em!"] * * * * * [Illustration: ON HIS DIGNITY.--_Sam._ "Mamma bought me a pair of gloves yesterday." _Auntie._ "Really! What are they? Kids?" _Sam._ "No, they're men's."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Sharp_ (_but vulgar_) _little boy_. "Hallo, missus, wot are those?" _Old Woman._ "Twopence." _Boy._ "What a lie! They're apples." [_Exit, whistling popular air_.] * * * * * A DIFFICULT CASE.--_Mamma._ You're a very naughty boy, Tommy, and I shall have to buy a whip, and give you a good whipping. _Now_ will you be good? _Tommy_ (_with hesitation_). Shall I be allowed to keep the whip after, mammy? * * * * * [Illustration: _Old Gent._ "Do you know what a lie is, sir?" _Little Boy._ "Oh, don't I, jest; I tells lots of 'em."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Old Lady._ "No, thanks. I don't want any for the garden today." _Boy._ "Well, then, can we sing yer some Christmas carols instead?"] * * * * * [Illustration: OVERHEARD IN BOND STREET "Which of 'em would yer 'ave for a muvver, Billy?"] * * * * * [Illustration: EXPERIENTIA DOCET "And are _you_ going to give me something for my birthday, aunty Maud?" "Of course, darling." "Then _don't_ let it be _something useful_!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mamma._ "You mustn't bowl your hoop in the front on Sunday. You must go into the back garden." _Tommy._ "Isn't it Sunday in the back garden, mamma?"] * * * * * [Illustration: A PROTEST "And pray, am I _never_ to be naughty, Miss Grimm?"] * * * * * [Illustration: A NEW TEST _Aunt_ (_in alarm_). "_Surely_ you've eaten enough, haven't you, Tommy?" _Tommy_ (_in doubt_). "F-f-f-feel me!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Bilious Old Uncle._ "I'm delighted to see this fall; it will give that dreadful boy chilblains, and he'll be laid up out of mischief."] * * * * * SUNDAY SCHOOLING.--_Teacher._ What does one mean by "Heaping coals of fire on someone's head" now, Harry Hawkins? _Harry Hawkins._ Givin' it 'im 'ot, teacher! * * * * * _Auntie._ Do you love the chickens, dear? _Dolly._ Yes, Auntie. But I do wish this big one hadn't such a funny laugh! * * * * * [Illustration: Occupation of "that dreadful boy" at the same period.] * * * * *