5 doz. letus samditches containing salad. 12 qts. chocolate drunk. A large chorus of cakes, McAroons, candies & other meatsweets in confusion.” I done what she said, Mr. Editor. You cannot imagine with all your printer’s ink how I enslaved myself preparing them samditches for her festival. All morning of Wednesday I stood gashing bread with knives till I manufactured so much of that lay-between food that it stood in bulk. Piles of devilish ham samditches stood around near heaps of nutty cheeze samditches, resembling sky scrapers looking at Washington Monuments with jealous expression. All that A. M. Hon. Mrs. Calicutt rosh everywhere doing something to furniture & draping smilax buds from pictures to resemble greenery. At lunching hour she appear very disjointed and say, “Aunts of Columbus Society holds annual social this P. M. at Methodist Church. Maybe I shall not be able to catch many folks from this.” Sadness stood in her voice. Hon. Clarence Calicutt, husband to her, retire homeward by 3:11 train and report, “What could be more nuisansical for business man than pink tea?” At 4:10 P. M. all was prepare. Cousin Florence arrive for pore tea. Mrs. Clarence Calicutt set in central middle of room making her clothes look very social. Hon. Clarence Calicutt wear frockaway coat and require, “Can I smoke?” whenever spoken to. Cousin Florence crouch behind tea-earn with expectful expression peculiar to sailors before battle. But nothing arrived yet. At 4:59 come jing-jing to door bell. Mrs. Calicutt arrange her smile, Cousin Florence set upright, & Hon. Clarence go to window where he attempt to look neglectful. I elope to door with desirable expression peculiar to butlers. With noble position of heels and elbows I ope door. What see? There stood one (1) Armenian peddle-man offering $2 tablecloths for $3.57. I enclose Hon. Door befront of his face. “This are most excited afternoon of my career,” depress Hon. Calicutt, smoking cigars out of window so as not to fumigate curtains. Mrs. Calicutt make several petrified replies. At hour of 5:68 P. M. Rev. Mr. Horse W. Dill come in. He never could afford to miss repasts anywheres because of his shrinking salary. “All world seem to be at Aunts of Columbus reception this afternoon,” he say for diplomacy. “I notice it,” dib Hon. Mrs. “I just remain home merely by accident to-day & so glad you come.” I offer him 86 samditches. He ate 13 and 1 qrt. chocolate. He depart at 7:46 filled with delicious refreshment. After that Hon. Clarence, Mrs. Clarence, and Cousin Florence draw near together & gaze morbidly at them samditches piled in towers. For week latter, evening dinner at home of Calicutt contained following programme: SOUP Didn’t have none. ENTREE Chocolate. Samditches containing cheeze. ROAST Devilish ham samditches. Nutty samditches. SALAD Letus samditches. DESERT McAroons, cakes, more chocolate, & whatever else.