Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Japanese -- United States -- Fiction
When fatigue was too plenty for more exercise I stand on climax of that
ladder holding sudds bucket in thoughtful position. Great thoughts
can be obtained in such high altitudes, thusly perched with excelsior
feeling of brain. Leaning against glass forehead of that bay window I
could observe Nature acting as usual amidst houses where residences
was. Walking amongst those houses I could observe bill collectors,
insurance agents and neighbours--which show that Trouble come wherever
folks resides. “Life are similar to such scenery,” I say for smart
quotation.
While thusly I argued, some ottomobile wheels could be heard walking
below in front of house. I look downly and observe very fashionable
appearance of society--one bloated gas-machinery stopping up near feet
of ladder while one complete lady enwrapped in Arctic mouse-skins fur
sat there talking Waldorf language to a chauffer of military pattern. I
could tell she was 400 by actual count.
“Hennery,” she say to Hon. Chauffer, “ring door and pronounce that Mrs.
Diggle Clodd have arrived for slight calling visit on Mrs. Fits Gibb.”
“I do so!” This from Hon. Hennery.
While Hon. Hennery was making rings by door, I lean from ladder and
observe the elegance of that financial lady as she flopped amidst
coloured padding and showed the splandid millinary of her hat.
Great excitement by me. She were not beautiful as ladies go--and some
ladies goes considerable. Her hair was red like a blushing brick and
her face seem too wealthy to agree with anybody. Yet I was enraptured
to be standing above so much money.
I perch on ladder to imitate birds. Pretty soonly Hon. Hennery,
containing expensive boots, report back.
“Hon. Mrs. Gibbs are here where she is,” he acknowledge while opening
ottomobile door so Hon. Lady could alight down richly. Queens act
thusly when getting out of ships. I could observe the fluttering
ostriches on top of her millinary head. How expensive to estimate!
When she was snuggling forth in direction of front door, I must lean
very crooked backwards for see what was. I could not tell how it
happen, but when leastly expected--O knock! Hon. Soap slyly slip forth
from window-sill where he was setting and flop to hat of Mrs. Diggle
Clodd!!! Great mixture of plumage ensued while feathers drop with
confusion resembling 2 roosters fighting in a cyclone.
“Oh Hennery! Look upwards and see what!” she shreech.
Hennery do so, and while thusly he gazed my elbow disjoint himself
and O swash!!! That suds bucket flop forwards & spill 2 complete gals
soap-water on top of his elegance.
He show bitter expression peculiar to persons standing under Niagara.
“Who do it?” holla Hon. Hennery & Hon. Mrs.
“I no do it!” were lawyer reply for me. “Hon. Bucket must be guilty.”
“Are you not manager for that bucket?” require Hon. Hennery.
“How could I tell when he is going to shoot?” I narrate.
“Hennery!!” she gubble, “elope up ladder and pluck that impertinence
down!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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