“I are not responsible for your animal hungers,” corrode this Wife while she arose and gently order me to take Hon. Vacuum down cellar for vacate 2 coal-bins and a ashbarrel. I retained this situation of jobs for six complete days’ work. All day long I go around house dragging hose like a fireman. I got that intelligent Vacuum so trained that he could do tricks of extreme cuteness. He could coax shoe-buttons entirely across room by his talented suction, and when they got up to his nose--gubble! They disappear to zero. He loved to catch flies by breathing them inwards; and once he attempt to withdraw Mrs. Bellus’ weak canary bird from cage. Which he not quite did, but too nearly. So I continue on practicing this suctionary job; and I got so smart from it that I was preparing to request Hon. Mrs. for more wage of salary, when some unpleasantness exploded. I sorry to tell you. Last Tuesday Hon. Mrs. Hirem B. Bellus come to me and say with gloves & hat: “I go for lunching at Aunt Maria Stewart whose great wealth includes asthma and make her disagreeable but necessary. Be faithful with your Vacuum while I are away.” I promus her. “Grocer man will be here this p. m. for collect bill,” she corrode with indignation peculiar to debts. “Here are 20$ banknote for payment. I owe him 26$. Tell him to keep the change.” So she part off, leaving me that 20$ paper of extreme value. Mr. Editor, it make me nervus to be alone with great wealth. Sipposing some burglary should come by window? Sipposing my dishonest instinct should fly up and make me skip Canada with cash-money? Yet I was entirely faithful by that 20$. I took him and fold him to smallish wad, then I lay him carefully in crack of sofa where burglars could not see, yet I could not forget where was. Hon. Vacuum stood near purring softly while I done this. Who could expect what shall be? Me & Hon. Vacuum continue our vacuous task, making kick-back of dust wherever was. I run him over rugs so oftenly that he pull holes from them. I make him sniff all cobble-webs from the pictures & poke his nose into each corner where was. We was very friendly, me & Vacuum. I continue to vac. After Hon. Vacuum had sniffed off all wall paper, sideboard, etc., I remember how upholsterish chairs & sofas must be cured of germs also, so I vacuate these velvet upholsters. I was doing very nicely, thank you, when, of suddenly, I point nose of Hon. Vacuum to sofa where that 20$ bill was setting tightly. Yet no financial panics came to me until--O FRIGHTS!! _That 20$ bill begin hopping toward Hon. Vacuum’s nose with hypnofied expression peculiar to birds when eaten by charming snakes!_ I make snatch for money--alast! I was too late in beginning. Hon. Bill make leap to nose of Hon. Vacuum--gollup! Down long, thin throat of this machinery that wealthy cash was swallowed. I try to choke him so he give it back,--but useless it was. That cash-paper had flipped into his interior digestion before Jack Robinson could say it.