Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Japanese -- United States -- Fiction
“I estimate my loss at $580 which must be removed from your wages,” Mrs
Moon say-so while she stood mourning over those fractured relicks.
I reply by saying nothing.
I rip up carpets with strength peculiar to a giant full of steam. I
throw him on clothesline and trott backwards for more. I bathe Mr
Moon’s painted ancesters with soap-wash till they look nearly handsome.
I polish floors, door, silver & hardwear with continuous rapidity. I
wash stove with sudds and clean 14 pairs gloves with gasolene.
Then another breakage occur which were too bad. I was smoothing one
snobbish-looking china-closet with rags, when I axidentally broke
him endwise by dropping out of window. Mrs. Moon could not help from
noticing.
“$19.82 extra subtracted from your wages!” she holla arithmatically.
No intelligent reply from me.
Hon. Mrs Moon spend morning in attic opening reverend trunks and
fetching forth quilts & skirts belonging to Pilgrims. These I also pin
to clothes-line. Nextly I brosh wall-paper with whisk and climb to roof
where I save a white cat which had crolled up drain-pipe to suicide
himself. I receive no extra pay for this kindness. While doing thusly
I burst $27 worth of windows and bill was sent to me by Mrs Moon who
holla how much it was.
I carry 6 tons complete books from cellar to library on 3rd floor. When
I find they no belong there I took them back again. I also transmit
considerable bags containing coal from woodshed to basement where it
look more comfortable.
Very sorry event occurred when I was washing 48 eggs shell china cups.
Shelf of table upturned and all splatter to floor. Mrs Moon screech and
charge it to my account.
After that I paint back porch, carry sideboards, croll over all
ceilings of rooms to fish away cobwebs with broom and stuff upholstery
into all lounges what need it.
Mrs Moon were a very thoughtful woman. She always thought of something
more for me to do with arms and legs. When I was on top-ladder dusting
chandeliers she suddenly remember her mother’s fire-screen she had not
seen since Agnes was married.
“Go down cellar and open 11 boxes containing trash and see if mother’s
fire-screen ain’t there.”
I do so. It were not.
“Nail them up again quickly,” she comment. “Then go to roof and sweep
out chimbley.”
I elevated myself to loftly position and stood poking smok-tracks from
chimbley. Just then she holla,
“Come down 1st floor, please, and ade me in removing tables upstairs.”
I do so wishing I was a bird and could fly up and down with less
feetsteps.
By that time Hon. Sun were setting and I feel like doing the same. So
I choose soft chair in back yard and soothe myself by flopping to it.
There I reposed amidst rags, rugs, brooms, portraits, paints and other
cleanly dirt.
“Why you set there so worklessly?” she require, seeing me with eagle
expression.
“I have moved so much that I am now moveless,” I reply with great
pathos.
She make her eyes look kind and charity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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