“You are very unfeeling,” said Nancy, with a quiver on her lip.
For it would be in vain to attempt to delude the reader into the idea
that this tall young lady in mourning who had taken the Wren Cottage,
and was called Mrs. Arthur, was anybody but Nancy. Her disguise was
transparent, indeed, to anyone whose suspicions had ever been awakened,
and the very transparence of her disguise was part of the character of
the girl, who had suffered a great deal indeed, and learned something,
but who was still herself at bottom, notwithstanding the progress she
had made. She had made a great deal of progress. She had read numbers
of very heavy, very solid books, and could have passed an examination on
various abstruse subjects which never could be of the slightest service
to her. How was the poor girl to know? She was aware that reading books
was the way to be educated, and she was too proud to be guided by
anybody who knew better than she did. She had devoured a great deal of
poetry, and many novels as well; though these she was rather ashamed of.
But she knew that it must be right to work through the Encyclopædia, and
to read history, and Locke upon the Human Understanding, and other
volumes of solid reputation. No doubt they did her good, more or less,
and the very effort to read them did her good. And she knew now all
about those things which had puzzled her so much at Paris; about the
Queen who was murdered, and the people whose heads were cut off; and had
gone over all the collections of pictures open in London, and knew now,
at least, the names of the painters with whom people are generally
enraptured. Her mistakes in the old days thus gave her a certain
enlightenment, revealing to her certain points on which she was very
ignorant, and which it was right to know; but beyond these limits Nancy
had not much information as to what was wanted for the education of a
lady, and stumbled along in the dark, though with the best will in the
world. But the occupation which this gave her was of the utmost
importance to her, and had softened and consolidated her whole moral
being. Further, she had tried music, which comes into the most
elementary conception of a lady’s training, but had found this very hard
work, neither her fingers nor her patience being equal to the strain
upon them; but she had managed better with drawing, and had made a great
many elaborate pencil copies, and some in chalk, which Matilda thought
beautiful. When her father and mother both died, it was impossible to
keep her longer in Underhayes. No one had any longer the smallest
control over her. Matilda, though she was sensible, had never taken any
lead in the family, and though she criticised, always obeyed the more
potent impulse of her younger sister. Nancy had been as impulsive and
imprudent in her present action as in all the previous movements of her
life. She had given up her income from Arthur without telling anyone, to
the great dismay of her sisters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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