the subject, but only wondered with all her mind whether they would find
her out, whether they would not find her out, what they would think of
her? but never asked herself, as Matilda said, why they should think of
her at all. This, it was to be feared, was not at all a thing desirable
to Nancy. That they should inquire about her, wonder who she was,
suspect her, recognize her, these were the things she preferred to
imagine, and which it pleased her to brood over. Lucy had seen her, and
very likely would recognize her. She was sure she would recognize Lucy
wherever she might see her. It was exciting to meet her in the avenue as
they approached, and Nancy had a secret pleasure in sending Matilda to
apologize and explain, although she was quite well aware that the
thoroughfare was a public one, and that nobody could interfere with
their movements. Though she would not let Matilda see it, she was
trembling with suppressed excitement when her sister rejoined her.
Nothing could happen in consequence of such a meeting; Lucy could not
have divined who she was by the distant vision of her figure against the
light, or through Matilda, whom she had never seen; but yet the wilful
headstrong girl, who had resisted so much, trembled at this chance
encounter. She went back to the Wren Cottage afterwards, excited and
tingling all over; yet feeling a blankness in the air as if all the
colour and expectation had passed away.
The Wren Cottage was very small. The door opened direct into the
sitting-room without any passage or antechamber. Nancy of two years ago
would have thought it very common, but Nancy of to-day, knowing a little
about Art, in respect to modern dwelling-places, supposed it must be
“quaint,” and called it so. A wooden staircase led up into the bedrooms.
There was a deep recessed window at the side which gave a little more
pretension to the room, and commanded the road as far as the Hall gates,
and some small portion of the avenue. Here Nancy had ranged her books in
the window sill. They were of a very heterogeneous description. There
was a French book, something about the revolution, which she was reading
“for practice,” and there was a philosophical work which she
read--because she thought that was the right thing to do; but a little
of it went a long way. Thus the few volumes which she liked made an
imperfect balance with a great many which she did not like, but worked
at conscientiously, as understood to be the proper means for her
purpose. Her present solid study was of the most heterodox character,
and might have compromised Nancy’s “soundness” in doctrine, had there
been any critic here apt to judge; and might have confused her own
brain, poor girl, had she paid any attention to it. But she used the
book just as she used a chair--the one was to read, the other to sit
down in; and Nancy did not trouble her mind about the one more than
about the other. Besides these studies, there was a large cartoon in
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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