"Now, if you begin to shout in that manner, I'll leave the bed. It's very hard that I can't say a single word to you, but you must almost raise the place. "YOU DIDN'T SHOUT? "I don't know what you call shouting, then! I'm sure the people must hear you in the next house. No--it won't do to call me soft names, now, Caudle: I'm not the fool that I was when I was first married--I know better now. You're to treat me in the manner you have, all day; and then at night, the only time and place when I can get a word in, you want to go to sleep. How can you be so mean, Caudle? "What? "WHY CAN'T I PUT THE WASHING OUT? "Now, you have asked that a thousand times, but it's no use, Caudle; so don't ask it again. I won't put it out. What do you say? "MRS. PRETTYMAN SAYS IT'S QUITE AS CHEAP? "Pray, what's Mrs. Prettyman to me? I should think, Mr. Caudle, that I know very well how to take care of my family without Mrs. Prettyman's advice. Mrs. Prettyman, indeed! I only wish she'd come here, that I might tell her so! Mrs. Prettyman! But, perhaps she'd better come and take care of your house for you! Oh, yes! I've no doubt she'd do it much better than I do--MUCH. No, Caudle! I WON'T HOLD MY TONGUE. I think I ought to be mistress of my own washing by this time--and after the wife I've been to you, it's cruel of you to go on as you do. "Don't tell me about putting the washing out. I say it isn't so cheap--I don't care whether you wash by the dozen or not--it isn't so cheap; I've reduced everything, and I save at least a shilling a week. What do you say? "A TRUMPERY SHILLING? "Ha! I only hope to goodness you'll not come to want, talking of shillings in the way you do. Now, don't begin about your comfort: don't go on aggravating me, and asking me if your comfort's not worth a shilling a week? That's nothing at all to do with it--nothing: but that's your way--when I talk of one thing, you talk of another; that's so like you men, and you know it. Allow me to tell you, Mr. Caudle, that a shilling a week is two pound twelve a year; and take two pound twelve a year for, let us say, thirty years, and--well, you needn't groan, Mr. Caudle--I don't suppose it will be so long; oh, no! you'll have somebody else to look after your washing long before that--and if it wasn't for my dear children's sake I shouldn't care how soon. You know my mind--and so, good-night, Mr. Caudle." "Thankful for her silence," writes Caudle, "I was fast dropping to sleep; when, jogging my elbow, my wife observed--'Mind, there's the cold mutton to-morrow--nothing hot till that's gone. Remember, too, as it was a short wash to-day, we wash again on Wednesday.'" LECTURE XVIII--CAUDLE, WHILST WALKING WITH HIS WIFE, HAS BEEN BOWED TO BY A YOUNGER AND EVEN PRETTIER WOMAN THAN MRS. CAUDLE "If I'm not to leave the house without being insulted, Mr. Caudle, I had better stay indoors all my life.