Mrs. Dot: A FarceMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Mrs. Dot: A Farce
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
English drama -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama; Widows -- Drama
Of course, he’s all eagerness.
GERALD.
[_Grimly._] Yes.
NELLIE.
I would much sooner--let Gerald fix it at his own convenience.
LADY SELLENGER.
I think it’s delightful, the way they give in to one another.
GERALD.
We shall only bore Mrs. Dot if we discuss the matter now.
LADY SELLENGER.
We’re all old friends here. I’m sure Mrs. Dot will help us with her
advice.
MRS. DOT.
My own opinion is, that in these matters the sooner the better.
BLENKINSOP.
When you have to take a pill the best thing is to swallow it down
without thinking.
LADY SELLENGER.
Cynic! What do you say to six weeks from to-day?
NELLIE.
That would suit me beautifully.
GERALD.
Then there’s no more to be said.
LADY SELLENGER.
What a beautiful thing love is!
[NELLIE _gets up_.
NELLIE.
[_To_ FREDDIE.] Are you coming?
FREDDIE.
Certainly.
LADY SELLENGER.
[_Surprised._] Where are you going, Nellie?
NELLIE.
Mr. Perkins has promised to take me for a little drive in the motor. I
feel it’s the only thing to send away my headache.
LADY SELLENGER.
[_In an undertone._] My darling, is this wise? Remember the feelings of
this poor young man.
NELLIE.
[_Also in an undertone._] I thought you’d like an opportunity of talking
privately to Gerald.
LADY SELLENGER.
Why, darling?
NELLIE.
Dear mamma, the settlements.
LADY SELLENGER.
[_Smiling affectionately._] You sweet, practical child! You’ll be your
own mother again at my age.
NELLIE.
May I go then?
LADY SELLENGER.
Do. But don’t be away very long.
NELLIE.
[_Kissing her._] Good-bye, mamma.
[_She goes out with_ FREDDIE. _Almost immediately the sound of a
motor-horn is heard, as they drive away._
LADY SELLENGER.
The dear child, she has such a sweet, trusting nature. You must kiss me,
too, Gerald!
GERALD.
I shall be delighted, I’m sure.
[_She puts up her cheek, which he kisses. A_ SERVANT _comes in with a
note_.
SERVANT.
Miss Sellenger told me to give you this at once, Madam.
MRS. DOT.
Oh. [_She opens it and gives a cry._] Good heavens! Oh, the deceitful
wretch! Lady Sellenger, how shall I tell you? It’s from Nellie.
LADY SELLENGER.
From Nellie!
MRS. DOT.
[_Reading._] “Dear Mrs. Dot, I’m just off to marry Freddie. Break it to
Mamma gently.”
LADY SELLENGER.
[_Starting up._] Impossible! Stop them! Stop them! Where are they?
MRS. DOT.
[_Reading._] “I couldn’t marry Gerald. He’s too great a”--there’s a word
in big letters. I never could read capitals.
[_She hands the note to_ GERALD.
GERALD.
The word is “B. O. R. E.”
MRS. DOT.
[_Pretending to be much surprised._] Bore!
BLENKINSOP.
[_With immense satisfaction._] Bore!
AUNT ELIZA.
[_Meditatively._] Bore!
LADY SELLENGER.
Oh, how monstrous! My poor Gerald, what shall I do?
[GERALD _goes into a roar of laughter. He laughs louder and
louder._
LADY SELLENGER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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