Mrs. Dot: A FarceMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Mrs. Dot: A Farce
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
English drama -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama; Widows -- Drama
FREDDIE.
I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking about.
NELLIE.
How can you tell such stories?
[_She hands him the licence. He stares at it, utterly astonished._
FREDDIE.
Where did you find this?
NELLIE.
It was lying on the writing-table. I suppose you’re not going to deny
all knowledge of it. [_He stares at it still._] Freddie, how bold of
you! But you really couldn’t imagine for a moment that I’d consent to
run away with you. Oh, Freddie, I’m so flattered. How you must love me!
FREDDIE.
[_To himself._] Two thousand a year! [_He takes the cheque from his
pocket and looks at it. Suddenly light dawns on him. He puts cheque and
licence back into his pocket._] It’s fairly clear that a licence
couldn’t have got there by itself.
NELLIE.
What on earth made you think of sending for it?
FREDDIE.
[_Brazenly._] I thought it was the only way to win you.
NELLIE.
Have you had it long?
FREDDIE.
It only arrived this morning. Look here, why shouldn’t we bolt? You
don’t care a straw for Gerald, and you do care for me.
NELLIE.
It would break his heart. I couldn’t, I couldn’t! Besides, where are we
to bolt to? I daren’t. Mamma would never forgive me.
FREDDIE.
You see, with this we can be married anywhere. Let’s jump into the motor
and go down to my father near Oxford. We shall arrive by dinner-time,
and he’ll marry us to-morrow morning.
NELLIE.
You don’t mean to say your father’s in the Church?
FREDDIE.
Of course he’s in the Church. I was most careful in my choice of a
parent.
NELLIE.
Oh, how clever of you to have a father who’s a clergyman! You think of
everything, Freddie.
FREDDIE.
Look here, there’s not a minute to waste. Will you risk it?
NELLIE.
No, no, no! Freddie, how can you ask me such a thing.... I’ll just go
and put on my hat.
FREDDIE.
You brick.
[_She runs out. He walks up and down excitedly. The servants bring
in the tea._ NELLIE _comes back with her hat on_.]
FREDDIE.
Hurry up!
NELLIE.
This _is_ romance, isn’t it?
[_They go to the door that leads into the garden, hand in hand.
They are confronted by_ LADY SELLENGER _and_ GERALD, BLENKINSOP
_and_ MISS MACGREGOR.
LADY SELLENGER.
Where are you going in such a hurry?
NELLIE.
[_Promptly._] We were just going to call you all in to tea.
[MRS. DOT _comes in_.
MRS. DOT.
I’ve just had the motor brought round in case any one would like to go
out.
[_She goes to the writing-table to see if the licence has been
removed. They all sit down and have tea._
LADY SELLENGER.
Nellie, my love, I’ve been discussing a very important matter with
Gerald.
MRS. DOT.
I know. You asked him to name the day.
LADY SELLENGER.
I feel that I have no right to restrain any longer the very natural
impatience of these young things.
NELLIE.
[_Aghast._] And what did Gerald say?
LADY SELLENGER.
He wishes to leave it entirely to you.
NELLIE.
I’m sure that’s very obliging of him.
GERALD.
Not at all.
MRS. DOT.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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