Mrs. Korner Sins Her MerciesJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Mrs. Korner Sins Her Mercies
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Domestic fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Short stories
She went on steadily, in a low monotone, broken by stifled sobs. The
dreary rhythm of the repetition may possibly have assisted. As she
mentioned fearfully that nine times eleven were ninety-nine, Miss Greene
pointed stealthily toward the table. Mrs. Korner, glancing up fearfully,
saw that the eyes of her lord and master were closed; heard the rising
snore that issued from his head, resting between the empty beer-jug and
the cruet stand.
“He will be all right,” counselled Miss Greene. “You go to bed and lock
yourself in. Harriet and I will see to his breakfast in the morning. It
will be just as well for you to be out of the way.”
And Mrs. Korner, only too thankful for some one to tell her what to do,
obeyed in all things.
Toward seven o'clock the sunlight streaming into the room caused Mr.
Korner first to blink, then yawn, then open half an eye.
“Greet the day with a smile,” murmured Mr. Korner, sleepily, “and it
will--”
Mr. Korner sat up suddenly and looked about him. This was not bed.
The fragments of a jug and glass lay scattered round his feet. To the
tablecloth an overturned cruet-stand mingled with egg gave colour. A
tingling sensation about his head called for investigation. Mr. Korner
was forced to the conclusion that somebody had been trying to make a
salad of him--somebody with an exceptionally heavy hand for mustard. A
sound directed Mr. Korner's attention to the door.
The face of Miss Greene, portentously grave, was peeping through the
jar.
Mr. Korner rose. Miss Greene entered stealthily, and, closing the door,
stood with her back against it.
“I suppose you know what--what you've done?” suggested Miss Greene.
She spoke in a sepulchral tone; it chilled poor Mr. Korner to the bone.
“It is beginning to come back to me, but not--not very clearly,”
admitted Mr. Korner.
“You came home drunk--very drunk,” Miss Greene informed him, “at two
o'clock in the morning. The noise you made must have awakened half the
street.”
A groan escaped from his parched lips.
“You insisted upon Aimee cooking you a hot supper.”
“I insisted!” Mr. Korner glanced down upon the table. “And--and she did
it!”
“You were very violent,” explained Miss Greene; “we were terrified at
you, all three of us.” Regarding the pathetic object in front of her,
Miss Greene found it difficult to recollect that a few hours before she
really had been frightened of it. Sense of duty alone restrained her
present inclination to laugh.
“While you sat there, eating your supper,” continued Miss Greene
remorselessly, “you made her bring you her books.”
Mr. Korner had passed the stage when anything could astonish him.
“You lectured her about her housekeeping.” There was a twinkle in the
eye of Mrs. Korner's bosom friend. But lightning could have flashed
before Mr. Korner's eyes without his noticing it just then.
“You told her that she could not add, and you made her say her tables.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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