Bene.
What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living?
Beat.
Is it possible Disdain should die, while she hath such meet
food to feed it as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must
convert to disdain if you come in her presence.
Bene.
Then is courtesy a turncoat:--But it is certain I am loved of
all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my
heart that I had not a hard heart: for, truly, I love none.
Beat.
A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled
with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am
of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow,
than a man swear he loves me.
Bene.
God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman
or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face.
Beat.
Scratching could not make it worse, an 't were such a face as
yours were.
Bene.
Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
Beat.
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
Bene.
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a
continuer: But keep your way o' God's name; I have done.
Beat.
You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old.
D. Pedro.
That is the sum of all, Leonato.--Signior Claudio, and signior
Benedick,--my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell
him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartly
prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is
no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
Leon.
If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.--
Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled
to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.
D. John.
I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you.
Leon.
Please it your grace lead on?
D. Pedro.
Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
[Exeunt all but Benedick and Claudio.]
Claud.
Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato?
Bene.
I noted her not: but I looked on her.
Claud.
Is she not a modest young lady?
Bene.
Do you question me as an honest man should do, for my simple
true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as
being a professed tyrant to their sex?
Claud.
No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment.
Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise,
too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise;
only this commendation I can afford her: that were she other
than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she
is, I do not like her.
Claud.
Thou thinkest I am in sport; I pray thee tell me truly how
thou likest her.
Bene.
Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?
Claud.
Can the world buy such a jewel?
Bene.
Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad
brow? or do you play the flouting Jack; to tell us Cupid is a
good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key
shall a man take you, to go in the song?
Claud.
In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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