'But I did,' he said. 'I never thought of it. I never do think of
anything except in terms of my work.... I'll tell Clott to see to it.'
Clara clenched her fists until her nails dug into the palms of her
hands.
'I shall have to leave you,' she said at last. 'I shall have to leave
you.'
She pulled off her wedding-ring
'Perhaps I'd better go away,' he muttered at last very slowly. 'It's a
pity. Everything was going so well. Lord Verschoyle is deeply
interested. He has two hundred thousand a year.'
Clara laughed at him.
'He is willing to sit on my committee.'
'Does he know?'
'No.'
'But can't you see that these people ought to know.'
'No. What has it got to do with my work?'
'To you nothing. To them everything. They can't support you if they
know----'
'But they don't know.'
'You are in that woman's hands. So am I. You can't expect me to live
upon her sanction.'
This was a new aspect of the matter to Charles, who had never admitted
the right of any other person to interfere in his affairs. It hurt him
terribly as it slowly dawned upon him that the miserable Kitty had
behind her the whole force of the law.
'Oh, good God!' he said. 'I'm a criminal. Oh, good God! This is
serious.'
'I'm glad you realise it at last,' said she.
He broke down and wept, and began to tumble out the whole ridiculous
story of his life; his perpetual disappointment: his terror of being
bound down to anything except the work in which he felt so free, so
wholly master of himself and his destiny; his delight in at last
finding in her a true companion who, unlike all other women, allowed
him to be something more than her possession.
'I'm afraid,' he said in the end, 'that I have never understood women.'
'Leave it to me.' Poor Clara felt that if she tried to explain any
more her head would burst.
He looked up at her gratefully and was at once happy again.
'It was my fault,' said Clara. 'It wouldn't have happened if I'd
thought about life at all. But it was so wonderful being with you and
making your work come to life that I never thought about the rest....
I never looked at it from the woman's point of view, as, being a woman,
I ought to have done.... I think the shock has made me a woman.... I
don't think anything will ever make you a man.'
Charles gaped at her, but was not the least bit hurt. He did not
particularly want to be a man as manhood is generally understood.
'Yes,' he said, 'Lord Verschoyle is deeply interested, and he has two
hundred thousand a year.'
'Wait a moment,' replied Clara, 'I'll go and see if she has left her
address.'
She ran downstairs, but Kitty had left no address. As Clara,
considering the matter, decided that meant either that she intended to
make trouble or that she had good reason for waiting before she made it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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