My Autobiography: A FragmentMüller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Religion
My Autobiography: A Fragment
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Asianists -- Germany -- Biography; Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max), 1823-1900
In an autobiography the painter is of course supposed to be the same
as the sitter, but quite apart from the metaphysical difficulties of
such a supposition, there is the physical difficulty when the writer
is an old man, and the model is a young boy. Is the old man likely to
be a fair judge of the young man, whether it be himself or some one
else? As a rule, old men are very indulgent, while young men are apt
to be stern and strict in their judgments. The very fact that they
often invent excuses for themselves shows that they feel that they
want excuses. The words of the Preacher, vii. 16: “Be not righteous
over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy
thyself? Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why
shouldest thou die before thy time?” are evidently the words of an old
man when judging of himself or of others. A young man would have
spoken differently. He would have made no allowance; for anything like
compassion for an erring friend is as yet unknown to him. In an
autobiography written by an old man there is therefore a double
danger, first the indulgence of the old man, and secondly the kindly
feeling of the writer towards the object of his remarks.
All these difficulties stand before me like a mountain wall. And it
seems better to confess at once that an old man writing his own life
can never be quite just, however honest he tries to be. He may be too
indulgent, but he may also be too strict and stern. To say, for
instance, of a man that he has not kept his promise, would be a very
serious charge if brought against anybody else. Yet my oldest friend
in the world knows how many times he has made a promise to himself,
and has not only not kept it but has actually found excuses why he did
not keep it. The more sensitive our conscience becomes, the more
blameworthy many an act of our life seems to be, and what to an
ordinary conscience is no fault at all, becomes almost a sin under a
fiercer light.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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