My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah BernhardtBernhardt, Sarah
General
My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah Bernhardt
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- France -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923
My uncle, Félix Faure, gave her a chair, and asked her to sit down, and
then inquired in a kindly way about her husband, a _savant_, with whom
my uncle collaborated sometimes for his book, “The Life of St. Louis.”
Mamma had merely glanced across the room without raising her head, for
Madame Guérard did not prefer my sister to me.
“Well, as we have come here on account of this child,” said my
godfather, looking at his watch, “we must begin and discuss what is to
be done with her.”
I began to tremble, and drew closer to _mon petit Dame_ (as I had always
called Madame Guérard from my infancy) and to Mlle. de Brabender. They
each took my hand by way of encouraging me.
“Yes,” continued M. Meydieu, with a laugh; “it appears you want to be a
nun.”
“Ah, indeed,” said the Duc de Morny to Aunt Rosine.
“Sh!” she retorted, with a laugh. Mamma sighed, and held her wools up
close to her eyes to match them.
“You have to be rich, though, to enter a convent,” grunted the Hâvre
notary, “and you have not a sou.” I leaned towards Mlle. de Brabender
and whispered, “I have the money that papa left.”
The horrid man overheard.
“Your father left some money to get you married,” he said.
“Well, then, I’ll marry the _bon Dieu_,” I answered, and my voice was
quite resolute now. I turned very red, and for the second time in my
life I felt a desire and a strong inclination to fight for myself. I had
no more fear, as every one had gone too far and provoked me too much. I
slipped away from my two kind friends, and advanced towards the other
group.
“I will be a nun, I will!” I exclaimed. “I know that papa left me some
money so that I should be married, and I know that the nuns marry the
Saviour. Mamma says she does not care, it is all the same to her, so
that it won’t be vexing her at all, and they love me better at the
convent than you do here!”
“My dear child,” said my uncle, drawing me towards him, “your religious
vocation appears to me to be more a wish to love——”
“And to be loved,” murmured Madame Guérard in a very low voice.
Every one glanced at mamma, who shrugged her shoulders lightly. It
seemed to me as though the glance they all gave her was a reproachful
one, and I felt a pang of remorse at once. I went across to her, and,
throwing my arms round her neck, said:
“You don’t mind my being a nun, do you? It won’t make you unhappy, will
it?”
Mamma stroked my hair, of which she was very proud.
“Yes, it would make me unhappy. You know very well that, after your
sister, I love you better than any one else in the world.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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