I do not intend to comment on the doctrine of Jesus; I desire only that
all comment shall be forever done away with. The Christian sects have
always maintained that all men, however unequal in education and
intelligence, are equal before God; that divine truth is accessible to
every one. Jesus has even declared it to be the will of God that what is
concealed from the wise shall be revealed to the simple. Not every one
is able to understand the mysteries of dogmatics, homiletics, liturgics,
hermeneutics, apologetics; but every one is able and ought to understand
what Jesus Christ said to the millions of simple and ignorant people who
have lived, and who are living to-day. Now, the things that Jesus said
to simple people who could not avail themselves of the comments of Paul,
of Clement, of Chrysostom, and of others, are just what I did not
understand, and which, now that I have come to understand them, I wish
to make plain to all.
The thief on the cross believed in the Christ, and was saved. If the
thief, instead of dying on the cross, had descended from it, and told
all men of his belief in the Christ, would not the result have been of
great good? Like the thief on the cross, I believe in the doctrine of
Jesus, and this belief has made me whole. This is not a vain comparison,
but a truthful expression of my spiritual condition; my soul, once
filled with despair of life and fear of death, is now full of happiness
and peace.
Like the thief, I knew that my past and present life was vile; I saw
that the majority of men about me lived unworthy lives. I knew, like the
thief, that I was wretched and suffering, that all those about me
suffered and were wretched; and I saw before me nothing but death to
save me from this condition. As the thief was nailed to his cross, so I
was nailed to a life of suffering and evil by an incomprehensible power.
And as the thief saw before him, after the sufferings of a foolish life,
the horrible shadows of death, so I beheld the same vista opening before
me.
In all this I felt that I was like the thief. There was, however, a
difference in our conditions; he was about to die, and I--I still lived.
The dying thief thought perhaps to find his salvation beyond the grave,
while I had before me life and its mystery this side the grave. I
understood nothing of this life; it seemed to me a frightful thing, and
then--I understood the words of Jesus, and life and death ceased to be
evil; instead of despair, I tasted joy and happiness that death could
not take away.
Will any one, then, be offended if I tell the story of how all this came
about?
LEO TOLSTOI.
MOSCOW, Jan. 22, 1884.
MY RELIGION.
CHAPTER I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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